Break the cycle with something you're not expected to do or something you think you're not likely to do that's harmless and goofy just because. I actually felt and often feel this way myself (25, F) and the other day I nearly got into a (would have been potentially fatal) car accident due to bad weather and no fault of any driver. I was surprisingly upset about it, as if I hadn't just spent the day thinking to myself "I would really not mind if I suddenly stopped living at any given moment because of how living feels so plain and empty".
I decided to make myself a nice meal on a weekday (I don't usually due to telling myself it takes too long) as if I was cooking for someone I care about and I made myself dance in my kitchen a little bit. Even though I was by myself I felt embarrassed and shy, but I laughed because it was ridiculous. I don't dance well at all, but it was fun.
I don't have regular hobbies and struggle to stick to them but I've learned to appreciate the willingness to try, or to even put it down and pick it back up later. Life is meaningless in that none of what I'm doing (trying to crochet, learn to skate, hike alone, bake a baguette, simply existing etc.) matters to literally anybody else walking the earth and that's fine.
You don't have to solve a world issue or lead the charge in something that makes history to have enjoyed the life you lived prior to dying. You can just be a person that sometimes dances in your kitchen for no reason because it's fun to you. You can try things out and not like them then try other things and be proud of yourself for trying in the first place.
GlobalPelican t1_j6606v7 wrote
Reply to I need a reason [Text] by svedge_weed
Break the cycle with something you're not expected to do or something you think you're not likely to do that's harmless and goofy just because. I actually felt and often feel this way myself (25, F) and the other day I nearly got into a (would have been potentially fatal) car accident due to bad weather and no fault of any driver. I was surprisingly upset about it, as if I hadn't just spent the day thinking to myself "I would really not mind if I suddenly stopped living at any given moment because of how living feels so plain and empty".
I decided to make myself a nice meal on a weekday (I don't usually due to telling myself it takes too long) as if I was cooking for someone I care about and I made myself dance in my kitchen a little bit. Even though I was by myself I felt embarrassed and shy, but I laughed because it was ridiculous. I don't dance well at all, but it was fun.
I don't have regular hobbies and struggle to stick to them but I've learned to appreciate the willingness to try, or to even put it down and pick it back up later. Life is meaningless in that none of what I'm doing (trying to crochet, learn to skate, hike alone, bake a baguette, simply existing etc.) matters to literally anybody else walking the earth and that's fine.
You don't have to solve a world issue or lead the charge in something that makes history to have enjoyed the life you lived prior to dying. You can just be a person that sometimes dances in your kitchen for no reason because it's fun to you. You can try things out and not like them then try other things and be proud of yourself for trying in the first place.