I'm glad it worked out! You never expect something like that to happen. And our first had been a totally smooth experience.

I always looked at the positives after he was born and sent to NICU. He was/is alive, he did great (though it took him a while to get the hang of feeding). And his diapers in the beginning were so little! They told me to keep a couple (of the 2nd size he wore; I never got a chance to ask about keeping the first size) and I love showing teeny tiny diaper to people. It's the size of my hand when fully unfolded.

Mine progressed so quickly. Went from weekly scans to twice a week scans to "go in for monitoring" in less than 2 weeks. Then when I got there the hope was to get me to at least 32 weeks but just later that day it turned into "he's going to be born tomorrow." Then he worried them a bit overnight that they brought up the possibility of emergency c-section but luckily we found a sleeping position that kept him stable until the scheduled one. I was so relieved (and exhausted) when I heard him cry that I passed out for the rest of my c-section.

If we hadn't previously decided to be done at 2 kids, we definitely would have stopped after all that. I refuse to go through all that again.

It definitely comes from a place of meaning well but you're right. I had people saying this to me after my daughter's stillbirth and then again when my younger son was not growing in utero, then preemie at 28 weeks so my body wouldn't kill him (as it did to my daughter), then in the NICU (of course) for a long time (he's good now; currently holding him while he sleeps). But I never asked for help from anyone because it felt like far too much of a burden. I probably would have been more likely to accept specific help vs "let me know if you need anything."