Why pull a knife on someone with a gun?

I just saw in another comment you said your trans. The context definitely helped me understand better. Given that information, I 100% urge you to not give up on finding a spot to train. Everyone has a right to defend themselves, and jiu jitsu is a great way to learn those skills.

I’d say look for a “Gracie” affiliated school, and focus on the self defense classes. A more competition geared school is more likely to have the dude bro types that throw heel hooks and crazy submissions. I still don’t think those folks are being malicious purely because of your gender, but they’re definitely more likely to injure you.

With all due respect, your thinking here is just not representative of reality. Sure, arms can be broken accidentally, but it won’t be because someone is a homophobe.

I’m telling you as someone who has trained for nearly a decade and been at several gyms. Sexuality is totally irrelevant.

Who you sleep with does not matter in jiu jitsu. Your attitude, willingness to learn, and personal hygiene are much more important.

Just drop this dude off on an island far away from the rest of us.