Huskey1998 t1_j5uh32p wrote

Don't knock yourself down. I used to take Ritalin for my ADHD too and I have done the EXACT same stuff you have done. LITERALLY! being all like man, this isn't working, and then discovering that if you take more it helps you do stuff more, and boom, it's a problem. For me it jumpstarted years of hardships with all kinds of substances. Frankly I'd say it was irresponsible of your doctor to give you a short acting medication after mentioning that you used to have substance abuse problems. Especially since ADHD is known to cause impulsivity, and especially with substances. It really is not your fault, you're dealing with a disorder that messes up your brain chemistry to want/need dopamine hits. It kinda scared me away from taking meds, since most carry the abuse risk. The one I'm taking now is Wellbutrin. its not ideal, gave me side effects, but it helps me focus and keeps me stabilized. Best part is, no risk of abuse! maybe you can look into that. It's a neverending struggle really but don't beat yourself up for having messed up brain chemicals :) If you have more questions you can always hmu!