I have a friend who is around your age and is a server in a fancy hotel restaurant. She has benefits;i.e., 401k, health and life insurance, and PTO. She lives a low maintenance lifestyle by choice and makes enough to support her lifestyle. Every job has its drawbacks, but she doesn't have the kind of work stress that follows you home. No phone calls or emails after work, no waking up at night stressing over a crisis at work.

If this is what you want to do, I say go for it. The fact that you stayed home for years tell me that you are not a type A highly driven career person. That's not a bad thing and there's nothing wrong with the decision you made as a couple.

You should really take an honest look at yourself and your lifestyle and financial goals. If your desired lifestyle requires a high income, then position yourself for higher income. If your desired lifestyle requires greater happiness in a job/career, then determine if a lower income is sufficient.

Financial considerations would be housing (rent small apartment or buy large house), transportation ( OK with older basic cars vs fancy new car every three years), entertainment (Netflix vs clubbing), travel (road trips vs international travel), retirement (traditional age or early).

Once you consider all these things, you will have a better idea of what income is needed to live your desired lifestyle and you can determine how to proceed.

I know several people who went back to school after 35 and switched careers at 40. You may want to work as a server/bartender for a while until you figure out what you really want.

Edit: hit send too soon.

If you feel as if two mortgages puts you at increased risk in case of job loss, then maybe you need a larger emergency fund. Increase your emergency fund to a level that makes you comfortable, then invest extra income.

You might also want to consider how the interest on a $200k mortgage may allow you to itemize deductions on your tax return rather than taking the standard deduction.

Put the bare minimum insurance that is required to keep the cost down. A higher deductible may help too.

Where will the car be when you are in basic? If it is parked the entire time, you may be able to lower the cost of your insurance. That should give you some extra money to make up the difference.

Can you ask family and friends to lend you some money?

Tsp.gov provides information about the TSP.

Some policies don't cover drivers under age 25 unless they are listed on the policy as a driver.

Stop paying federal student loans since the pause has been extended. You could save several thousands or more before you have to start paying again.

Contact the public transportation authority where you live. There may be a program that sends a mobility van to your doorstep and takes you directly to your destination. This would greatly improve your options for employment if the transportation piece is solved.

My husband and I had a joint checking account at bank A when we decided to try bank B. We planned to close Bank A after trying Bank B for a while. We never got around to closing Bank A. Some years later, I opened another at Bank C for the signup bonus. Had to wait 6 months for the bonus and never got around to closing that either.