IndigoTrailsToo t1_j6nixzk wrote

It sounds like you are struggling with a mental health issue, perhaps OCD or anxiety or perfectionism.

I think that a therapist would be able to help you to begin to make forward motion again in your life and get a grasp on what's going on and be able to cope better. Maybe you can get through without any medication but meds can be an absolute game changer for some people.

For right now, let the books go since you aren't enjoying them.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_j5ul202 wrote

When you read the book out loud, what happens?

When the book is read to you (say, an audiobook), what happens?

It's there anything else going on? Do the words just look like squiggles? Are you tired and sleepy? Do the words look like other words? Is it blurry? Do your eyes hurt? Does your brain hurt? Etc.

We'd like to help but things are going in the direction of "you have a very specific reading comprehension issue or disability" which means that the things that will actually help you are going to be the answers and tools for that very specific thing that you have.

A solid next step might be to find some online screening tools for different disabilities and see if any of them apply to you. Or, better yet, just tell a teacher. They should have programs that can help you figure out what's going on and then get you very specific support for that issue

Please don't feel shy or bad, everyone is different and that's ok. You're not dumb, you're actually pretty smart!


IndigoTrailsToo t1_j4xmpg6 wrote

Most books don't actually need a preface.

The places where I have seen a preface do good are:

  • the preface is trying to help you focus on what the actual story is
  • the preface is warning you that there is a triggering subject up front
  • there is a problem with the major story elements and this resolves it (eg unclear what protagonist wants)

That's just about it


IndigoTrailsToo t1_j297c9f wrote

Reply to Gormenghast by [deleted]

I borrowed this book from the library and but I couldn't make it more than halfway before giving up. The prose is beautiful, the characters are interesting, but it just moves very, very slowly. It was a DNF for me.

So it's possible that this book series might not be for you. Not because I didn't like it, but because not every book is for everyone and that's okay.

Try to let go of all of the anxiety and expectations and just let yourself be you.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_j1zvsip wrote

Everyone has little go to guilty pleasure books and that's not a bad thing.

Personally I don't think you are quite so much in a hole has you are looking for books that are actually good that can hold your attention.

Think about the books that you did read that weren't erotica, what do they have in common? What genre were they? What did you like about them?


IndigoTrailsToo t1_j1ztfsy wrote

Or you can do all of them at the same time?

If I bought a book but don't like it then I trade it into the used bookstore.

If I am buying a book it's usually because I can't find it at the library or the wait is too long.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_iwy2g8d wrote

There are a couple of programs and websites where you can write down what books you have read and the notes that you have taken on the books. Unfortunately I can't remember what the names of any of these websites are but they are out there.

There is any number of systems to take notes on the books that you have read. Whatever works for you really.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_iukbqp1 wrote

I don't see him looking at videos of people specifically twerking as a red flag (just gross), I just see it is both of you not having talked about your boundaries.

it sounds like there is an issue with intimacy between both of you and your tensions are a very high as both of you are figuring out whether or not this relationship will work , as well as how to cohabitate . Every couple works out whether or not porn is acceptable.

You also learned an important detail, it's not just you, he is having issues himself.

It sounds like you are about ready to give in the towel and move back home, it sounds like you are regretting your decision and looking for a reason to call it quits (mothers phone situation).

Tldr: it's not good, but it's not a red flag either. It sounds like both of you need to talk to one another about the things that have been going on lately. Also, you shouldn't try to accept responsibility for everything that is going on as your fault, that isn't healthy, that isn't how problems get discussed, that isn't how problems get resolved. Both of you keep working on your communication and talk to one another.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_iukb3q0 wrote

Yeah, this relationship is over. This girl swooped out from under him and scooped him up. The person who lives nearby is always going to trump a long distance relationship, especially when it is fading out. The boundaries of your relationship has already been crossed pretty badly into the emotional territory and I think it would be better for your mental health to just call it completely done.

Him saying that he wants to keep the relationship private is not a good thing and in this situation, you know for certain that things are going the way they are going.

Sorry that your evening sucks.


IndigoTrailsToo t1_iuk4thm wrote

Your drains are starting to overflow with raw sewage coming out of the sewer and the stench is horrific, on top of having to put down towels so the filth does not overflow your bathroom tile and start to soak into your carpet. You schedule a plumber to come and help you with this task.

When the plumber comes, what do you expect will happen? That's the answer to your question.