I've been in a situation like this. Fortunately, in my case, I wasn't married to him yet. You need to speak up and speak up now. He has proven this is what he wants and it will only get worse from here. He will keep on pushing it, all the while telling you it's just fantasy and guilting you into it because you should want to please him. You need to set a firm boundary with consequences. It took me way too long to do this and caused me to waste a few good years of my life on someone that I couldn't stomach. The sooner the better.

Yes, It's normal for partners to be extra attracted when they can see that we have put in the extra effort no matter what sex.

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And if you can get that flavor anytime you want, it's kind of nice to have some variation from time to time.