I've had a similar kind of scenario in my life, I was friends with this girl and we spent a lot of time together and we eventually stopped talking because I had the 'why can't we just date' curiosity in my head that didn't go away and a few wrong conversations just led to a downer on both sides.
I think the problem with having a friend of the opposite sex who is attractive, is that you have to be extremely disciplined and not let any potential physical attraction affect the way you act or think. The way you describe her is not how a guy would describe a guy friend, you are simping and you need to come to terms with that. Its quite common for male-female relationships to have a one-sided simping and I can tell you they never end in lifetime friendships, it usually ends when one side gets a serious partner. It happens because one or both people lack intimacy in their life, one or either parties may want support, attention, something to care for, or are just lonely.
You've dug yourself a whole with paying for 100% of your dinners because really you should only pay for your own food and not ask what they think, but just do it and say it as a matter of fact, but now if you start doing that it will look like you only paid because you wanted something, yet I would still never pay for her food again.
Don't apologise, you said what you said and its whatever. Honestly I think this friendship is fleeting and you are wasting your time and effort on someone where subconsciously you think there will be a return but there wont. I'm not saying that you think this will lead to dating since you know that it wont, I'm saying that its temporary, and once its over you wont feel fulfilled, you'll regret the time and effort your put into it.
Jamesx94 t1_j6kc4p6 wrote
Reply to TIFU By telling my platonic friend I would date her by QuirkyWizard
I've had a similar kind of scenario in my life, I was friends with this girl and we spent a lot of time together and we eventually stopped talking because I had the 'why can't we just date' curiosity in my head that didn't go away and a few wrong conversations just led to a downer on both sides.
I think the problem with having a friend of the opposite sex who is attractive, is that you have to be extremely disciplined and not let any potential physical attraction affect the way you act or think. The way you describe her is not how a guy would describe a guy friend, you are simping and you need to come to terms with that. Its quite common for male-female relationships to have a one-sided simping and I can tell you they never end in lifetime friendships, it usually ends when one side gets a serious partner. It happens because one or both people lack intimacy in their life, one or either parties may want support, attention, something to care for, or are just lonely.
You've dug yourself a whole with paying for 100% of your dinners because really you should only pay for your own food and not ask what they think, but just do it and say it as a matter of fact, but now if you start doing that it will look like you only paid because you wanted something, yet I would still never pay for her food again.
Don't apologise, you said what you said and its whatever. Honestly I think this friendship is fleeting and you are wasting your time and effort on someone where subconsciously you think there will be a return but there wont. I'm not saying that you think this will lead to dating since you know that it wont, I'm saying that its temporary, and once its over you wont feel fulfilled, you'll regret the time and effort your put into it.