For real.

I mean, at that point, these people have been living the same 50-year loop for a few dozen trillion years, if not over 100 trillion.

By all means, they've... They've lived long enough. They've lived into the incalculable finite infinity

For what it's worth, I'm fully on Team Lucy here. We need a spirit of vengeance once in a while

For real, that was my thought as well.

The little kid was smart enough to drag a box over it. You need little more than a single trip to the hardware store and, like, 15USD in parts.

Put in a nice, sturdy padlock. Hell, throw in a wooden plank as a bonus support.

Then, you know, leave. Forever.

Jeez, that's rough OP.

Glad you survived this, though, seeing as how you were able to tell us about it. Did your daughter make it through?

Spill the beans on what? The chair?

I'm pretty sure it ended up in some guy's house and ... Resulted in quite a few deaths. And, quite possibly, someone sitting on the chair and going insane.

Hell, on a re-read I wouldn't discount the very idea that the being OP saw is actually the dude who found the dimensionally-fucked chair. This guy found half a chair, and everyone who touched it was eviscerated in almost exactly the way OP here says would happen. That guy figured out a way to get onto the chair without exploding across multiple dimensions, then mentioned that he thinks more people need to see this shit before disappearing.

It wasn't good

Well, hm, I think I know what happened to your chair. It's, uh, well... It's bad.

That aside, why are you assuming these beings are malicious or malevolent? They've existed for an eternity alongside us and haven't caused any problems.

Oh. I think you're on to something here. The body the soldier found in Africa had no bones ... and Ghoul-Crowley had no bones.

There's definitely a connection.

Pretty sure that's a Ghoul

... because they were lying

How did you survive all of that and manage to type this up?