Keepmessingupp

Keepmessingupp t1_itb52jc wrote

Sir/Ma’am, with all due respect, why do you insist that there is something going on in my head about this teacher? Why should a student not thinking and telling a teacher about something that happened to them strike as sexual/romantic to you?

I feel as if you are sexualising not only the situation, but also myself, this isn’t about wether I have a “crush” on her or not (I don’t, that’s honestly pretty gross), and my intention was not to “talk about my sexual assault”.

Why does being upset for one of the very few times I have been over something traumatic that happened to me have to be me dwelling on it? My past does not just consist of sexual assault, that isn’t the only traumatic thing that has happened to me, so why does me thinking I messed up make you think I am letting it affect my life?

I get that you’re trying to help, or give your opinion, but I said in the post that advice is welcome, this however, is not advice. Who exactly told you that sexual assault has to mean they forced themselves onto me? If you really do have to know, they took advantage of not only my trust but the fact that my parents would have and still would take their word over mine, because I was just a little kid right?

Grief/trauma should not and DOES NOT have an expiration date!!! I’ve spoken with a counsellor about the matter, I’ve spoken with a male friend and a female friend about the matter, what makes you think that’s going to fix it?

I am yet to meet even one person whom can “forget” their trauma. I am unsure of your first question, also unsure why it’s relevant. The third question I feel is inappropriate to ask a minor, so I won’t answer it.

I would like to know from you however, how do these questions you have asked relate to my post?

1

Keepmessingupp t1_it9uw8n wrote

She is, and I wish I still had class with her. I am good at english and always loved english, and with english comes poetry, so I do have some poems saved in my notes from the times I have tried journaling but in a different way.

I do like the suggestion of having someone else in the room with the counsellor, that seems like a really good idea but I would need to work out who as almost everyone that i’ve ever opened up to initially told me I could come to them and talk to them whenever but decided that was a no go for them after I finally gather the courage to open up. Thank you, and I will for sure take these suggestions into consideration.

1

Keepmessingupp t1_it9sscm wrote

thank you deeply. I would like to think she felt that way too as I have a hard time trusting people due to other events from the past that have put a large strain on my life. I am learning to move on, but I am also learning to find ways TO move on, as I have seen psychologists and counsellors, though I can’t bare even trying to be transparent with them.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I am like this, in the past I was always so apologetic for the tiniest mistake as I got yelled at, belittled, called names, and talked behind my back to my family telling lies about me if I did something wrong in the slightest. I don’t have an amazing relationship with my mum, we are close but not close enough that I tell her things important, worrying or saddening to me.

I have had a chat to one of the counsellors here, but am now refusing to see them because I truely don’t see it going anywhere. I honestly do feel like a huge failure, even though I am young, and even despite having large achievements. Thank you for your comment, I do really appreciate the support.

1