KingDarius89 t1_j64bjnl wrote

My dad probably has this, though his official diagnosis is just PTSD. he's willing to accept that he has ptsd due to being my disabled mother's primary caretaker for the last 15 years of her life, spending practically every waking moment with her during that time. He absolutely refuses to accept that his childhood had any lasting impact on his mental state.

Once I was old enough to think critically about the stories my father told me about his childhood, it frankly fucking horrified me.

And it's also the reason why I don't bother pointing out the flaws I noticed in my grandfather from those stories (he died a little over a year before I was born) due to the fact that my dad idolizes his father. The only result of doing so would be a fight between us.

The closest that I've come is suggesting that the reason why he became a long haul trucker after leaving the marine corps was to get away from my grandmother. Which my dad agreed was a possibility. I simply didn't bother finishing the thought that if he had been worth a damn as a father he would have divorced her and insisted on full custody of my dad, and possibility the rest of his siblings.

To be clear, from the stories that my dad told me, my grandfather was largely guilty of neglect. The abuse came from my grandmother and my dad's six brothers. Which my grandmother did nothing to stop.