The only thing that I see 'wrong' here is that you're still in a relationship with him. You've been on and off for four years. Relationships should be joyful parts of your life. Why are you continuing to waste time and energy on someone who doesn't seem to care about you?

Mid forties 'adult' dating a teenager / barely out of their teenage years is a giant green flag if I've ever seen one /s. Your manfriend is a whole person who's older than you, older than you.

My advice is to date people who are much closer to you in life experience and commonalities. Creeps like your manfriend tend to use youngsters whose brains aren't fully developed because they are wearing blinders to the fact that well adjusted mid forties adults don't think underdeveloped kids are prime dating material.

What advice are you looking for? Either lose the trash or get yourself a pair of blinders because he is not and will not change. It's not rocket science.

You should totally forget that she's a fucking racist asshole who believes in the righteousness of Hitler and his 'master race' because she's so fucking hot /s.

How about the next time you troll, you come up with a better story in a sub dedicated to giving advice on relationships instead of your pathetic rage bait story that makes you look like you have a grain of sand for a brain?

Fuck you for making me read your bullshit.

An argument could be made that she emotional cheated on her boyfriend (really dude? You were talking about the things you wanted to do to each other. Who the fuck does that as regular banter with a coworker? C'mon. You wanted her so bad that you didn't care she had a boyfriend because she told you she had 'emotionally checked out' and was in it for 'the lease'. Are you trying to convince reddit of that or yourself?). Be better than that. Don't entangle yourself with people who are already in relationships. Couples break up and figure out shared leases all of the time. If she's even to be believed...

Distance yourself from her. Cut the 'friendly banter'. Be better. Next time you have a crush on someone in a relationship, make the choice to cut that shit off.

Quite a big coincidence that she asked you about the sexual tension between you, conveniently broke up, fucked you, then had to get back home...

I'd say my goodbyes to a four month old relationship and know that chances are that only four months in, your relationship is still in the 'shiny and new' phase and won't last forever, while your dream will bring you places, to people, and learning that in the grand scheme of things, will be a better 'payout'.

What do you do? The obvious answer, I would think, is to not continue doing what you're doing.

Your partner? A leach. Why would he care about a job and contributing to your 'household' when it's been at the point wherein you supported three people who you have never been 'obligated' to support? People go through tough times. People need help. Of course it's a good thing, when one is financially able, to offer not only love and support, but financial assistance when needed, but that's not what is happening here.

What do you do? Get your legal and financial ducks in a row, leave, and start building your own happiness and pay down that debt.

Your poor husband.