Such things are beyond a puny human's comprehension. This is the domain of dragons.

Thanks for the feedback! I was going for a horror comedy kind of tone, and the way this chicken attained a higher intelligence and was able to control animals as a consequence of being a dragon was intentionally left ambiguous to invoke the fear of the unknown. Having such an incomprehensible horrifying thing happening to someone so down to earth is very funny to me. I love a good dichotomy.

I had been noticing some odd things around the farm recently. In the corner of the barn I started to see a pile of junk. Bits of broken tools, foil, beads and things like that. Just a pile a glittering crap I figured I would clean up before long. I hadn’t had the time to spare though since my damn cats ran away. You have to be real careful with traps and poison when you got livestock so I had to take care of the rat problem myself with my old .22. That right there is about a full time job. Damn cats. One night I was down near the silo shooting, and damned if I didn’t see one of my hogs with a mouth full of the ball bearings I had in the shed walking right into the damn barn where that junk pile was.

I had never heard of a hog stockpiling trash like that before, but these critters are more clever than you would think. I’ve seen them do all kinds of things so it didn’t surprise me too bad. I can’t guess why animals do what they do sometimes, and this was more of an inconvenience than anything. It could get to be a problem though, so I had to change all my chores around to clean it out in the morning.

I suppose the whole situation had me pretty pissed off. Usually I try to be even keeled but things on a farm have a way of getting out of hand if you don’t double down and fix things before they get worse. I was still pretty sore about having to work double though. I reckon I was in a pretty bad mood when I marched up to that barn, and I don’t believe it helped my situation much. I suited up for trash clean-up, grabbed my trash can, and headed up to the barn.

It was the damndest thing I saw when I came into that barn that morning. One of my chickens was there. Before I could figure how in the hell the damn thing got out of the pen, it started talking. I am of sound mind and solid constitution, but damned if my chicken didn’t start talking when it saw me. It said, “Insolent human. You dare enter my lair?” in a little squawking clucking kind of voice.

I had to rub my eyes. I hadn’t been drinking and I hadn’t been sniffing glue so I guess I figured I was still dreaming. I was feeling haughty, so I said “You put your lair in my barn, kid. Not sure you can afford a room in here if that junk is all you got.” I didn’t know then that I would regret those words.

At the time I didn’t know then where that fire came from, but the moment after I had uttered those words my pant leg was on fire. I screamed “shit!” and set about trying to put myself out. I was dancing around, swatting it with my hands, and ended up rolling on the ground (If you were thinking why I didn’t roll first I guess you don’t spend much time in barns). All this is to say I was distracted. I’m not sure how long it took me to get it out, but when I looked up every single surface of my barn was covered in rats. All over the partitions, the walls, the loft, everything. I froze right there.

The chicken clucked out in that little voice, “This is my barn, and this is my farm. You tried to hide my true nature from me. You tried to hide my heritage but I learned, human. I learned. Your puny, mundane mind can’t begin to imagine what I learned. I’ll explain the part that is of interest to you, and I believe that you of all people should be able to understand. Humans exist to serve my kind. You are our beasts of burden and you are part of our supply of meat. All those that wish to live must pay tribute to me or perish in flame.”

That fire was sure real enough so I no longer suspected I was dreaming. It was clear that I was in a bind. From the look of things I figure my cats didn’t run away either. The little critter had friends, and if you ever suffered a rat bite you may imagine the amount of trouble I was in. All that indignity I had earlier was gone, and I was rightly terrified. I squeaked out in a voice no more forceful than my chickens, “I imagine so, I apologize for my insolence your majesty.” I half cringed at that last part but can you blame me? How could I have been prepared for something like this?

The rats cleared the way to the entrance like it was Moses parting the red sea. The little chicken demanded, “My tribute, human. Present to me my tribute and you will live to see another day.”

“Y-yes your highness.” I shuffled out of there real quick, I can tell you that. All my livestock was lined up out there staring at me too. By some blessing from somewhere, I had figured when I started out that I was haul the junk directly to the yard just outside of town, so I had my truck keys on me. I made like I was headed to the house to find an offering of some sort, but I suddenly doubled back and dashed over to my pickup. The sound that I heard was bone-chilling. Pigs, goats, cows, chickens, and about a thousand rats let out such a wail when I did that and started coming after me. I about leapt through my damn driver window and pressed that accelerator right to the floor. I had to do a little fancy driving to get out of there as quick as I did, but by the lord I made it.

I’m still reeling from the experience, I can tell you that. As I sit here in this little motel writing all this out, I thought that some kind of plan would occur to me but is sure hasn’t. I am in well over my head.

Thanks!

Sir Balenwood retorted, “You call five sovereigns reasonable!? Look at the state of this bridge! There’s no way any part of that toll is going into maintenance or labor! You’re just a polite highway robber, like the rest of your kind.”

The troll reached into his satchel and retrieved a document, presenting it to the knight close enough to read but not close enough to snatch. His eyes were glazed over and he moved slowly. He responded in an even tone, “Do you see this? This is a royal charter commissioning this bridge. This part here says that our company holds the legal right to design, maintain, and require payment for the use of this bridge. Part of that goes to labor, part of it goes to critical maintenance, and guess what? The rest goes back to your king in taxes. I could say the same about your kind, but I wouldn’t since it’s against terms to disparage humans or humanity as a requirement of the charter. We trolls had to make a lot of concessions after the war, so I’d really appreciate it if you respected your own laws and stop hassling me about this as if I had any part of deciding how much you’re paying here.”

The knight glared at the troll. The argument seemed consistent but he suspected that something was off. Even the modern movable bridges near the capital charged only a single sovereign. There was no way this provincial and crude structure could justify such an expense. Balenwood pointed his finger aggressively at the troll, “Some of that might be true, but there is no possible way that the price was set to five. Do you know what I think? I think you saw a wealthy looking human and figured you could squeeze me and I would throw you a few coins without thinking about it. Maybe you’ve met other humans like that but not me. I learned all about you trolls when I was deployed. You hate humans and wish nothing but harm to all of us. How dare you bring the war into into this?”

The troll rolled his eyes, “You’re the one who brought politics into this when you called me a ‘filthy troll.’ If you can’t understand why anyone would be hostile to a soldier in an invading army I’m not going to try to explain it to you. I’m more interested in right now. Right now, per the treaty, per the economic interests of our two nations, per the good faith effort to prevent future conflict by the kings of our nations, etcetera etcetera, I have the right to refuse service to any human or troll as I deem fit. Now the toll is six sovereigns or you can turn right around.”

Sir Balenwood’s face flushed and he gritted his teeth, he began to shout but quickly restrained himself to a barely contained and stilted fashion of speaking, “That is illegal. You can’t arbitrarily change the price, and you can’t pocket coins without reporting them to our tax office. I will pay the correct price as determined by the charter. I will happily pay the rate determined by law and not a copper more.”

The troll approached the gate to the bridge. Sir Balenwood sighed a breath of relief that this troll had finally seen reason, but let out a gasp when the troll threw a chain over it. He turned around and announced, “Now it’s seven sovereigns or I refuse service. If you have a complaint I believe your tax office is about a three day ride that way. If you want to take this to court I suggest you prepare for a legal fight. I’m not budging on this.”

Without thinking Sir Balenwood shouted, “Let me through, you insolent creature!”

The troll shrugged, “What are you going to do, attack a citizen of an allied nation and create the worst diplomatic crisis of the last century? I don’t think you’re going to do that. I’m about ten seconds from closing shop for the day. My rate is eight soveriegns or I’m going back into my office and you can find someone else to waste time with.”

Sir Balenwood was furious, but his anger gave way when he realized his situation. He let out a long, exasperated sigh that developed into a roar, “Fine! Eight Sovereigns. I will remember this, troll!” He dug into his coin purse and counted out the fee.

The troll, not reacting to the display, took that coins and set about opening the bridge without another word.

"Are you seriously kidding me right now? You agreed to 15 points when we started this whole thing. We're a little far down this road to have second thoughts." The Chosen One jabbed his finger into his hand to emphasize the point.

The Dark Lord shrugged, "I'm the one taking on the most risk here. Isn't that obvious? It's not like I'm asking for a lot here, me taking 30 still leaves you with 70."

The Chosen one put his face into both hands and ran his hands through his hair, finally looking up, red-faced, "Why in the hell would you think I'm left with 70 points? Do you honestly think it's only the two of us in on this? Do you know how high this goes!?" He sighed, "Of course you don't, and that's on purpose. Listen, stop being a dumbass. Take your 15 points and retire somewhere nice."

The Dark Lord crossed his arms, "I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I've got you over the barrel. At this moment your guys are out there thinking we're having the greatest duel in history in here. This castle is full of my people. I'm holding the cards. I've got the leverage."

The Chosen one shook his head and sighed, "You have no idea how dumb I think you are. This is your last chance to take 15. That's the easy way. Believe me when I tell you this, take the 15 and be happy with that, or you get nothing and you're going to owe us a lot more than what you'd be getting. I know that you know you're small time, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation."

The Dark Lord stated plainly, "30 or nothing."

The Chosen One shrugged, "You know what? Fine. I've given you every opportunity not to dig your own grave over this shit. All this is costing me is a few more months, and I'm going to end up with what could have been your share. I'm outta here." The Chosen one turned to leave, pushing open the castle doors.

The Dark Lord hadn't anticipated this and reached out, shouting "Wait!"

The Chosen One looked over his shoulder at the Dark Lord, "For what? Enjoy the next couple days as best you can." With that, he walked out.

The Dark Lord raced after him but stopped short. There was a real entire army at his gate. He pulled the doors shut and watched what was happening through the window. The Chosen one walked directly to the General, who dismounted. They had a brief conversation. The General got back on his horse and blew a horn. The army began packing up to leave. The Chosen one looked back and saw the Dark Lord was watching, and held up his middle finger.