LC_Anderton

LC_Anderton t1_jd9klzq wrote

Reply to TIFU by tripping over my backpack and stabbing a pencil into my foot. by filterpiece23

My 13 old daughter came downstairs one night while the boss and I were sat chilling in the kitchen… daughter has Asperger’s and consequently has an insanely high pain threshold (don’t assume all ASD people have this… things could go south really fast if you try and test it 😏)

She said “there’s a pin stuck in my foot” and lifted her leg to show me the underside of her foot. Sure enough, there was a thumb tack, fully embedded in her foot.

Terrible parent that I am, because of her calm demeanour and matter-of-fact approach to being stabbed… I started laughing… and to my eternal shame, I must confess,somewhat hysterically 😏

The boss, not impressed with my somewhat less than empathic reaction to my daughter’s plight, took her out from the kitchen, to sit on the staircase, where the natural light is better.

No.2 Daughter dutifully raises her foot at mummy’s request… and the boss sees what she thinks is a small, circular sticker… so pulls it “off”.. except it’s not “off”, it’s”out”. Because it really is a thumbtack.

The result is a spurt of blood from the hole…

Wife re-enters the kitchen (leaving child on stairs) and says… “It’s a pin…”

I said “I know…”

Boss says “I pulled it out and blood spurted out…”

I said “ So what did you do?”

And the boss replied… “I stuck it back in the hole to stop the blood coming out”

First Aid 101… 😂

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LC_Anderton t1_j1gzjwb wrote

Reply to TIFU in giving a presentation today which was a part of my Ph.D. evaluation. by askingrytquestions

My wife once gave a presentation of her PhD research at a major convention. She was really nervous but her professors thought it would be good for her to do it and it was her work so she should be recognised for it.

On the day, she was worried that me being in the auditorium would make her too nervous, so I said I’d wait outside… and I genuinely intended too… but just before her presentation, I snuck in at the back of auditorium.

It was huge (to me anyway)… and packed with 300+ people, mostly scientists, professors, other PhD’s… and the grunt squaddie at the back…

There was a giant screen behind her, and they gave her a laser pointer to indicate the points on screen she was talking about… now she’d never used a laser pointer before… so instead of “on/off”, she just kept it “on” the whole time.

Being at the back and hence at the top of the auditorium, I can see the whole show, and I notice every time she turned, to the screen or back to the audience, the front row instinctively started ducking or bobbing their heads in a mini ‘Mexican wave’ motion… it was only after this happened a few times I realised every time she turned, she was sweeping the laser across the eyes of everyone in the front row… but she was so focussed on her presentation she didn’t notice.

Anyway, she received huge applause from the audience (so I’m guessing that means it was good even though I didn’t understand a word of it 😏)… and no lasting harm done… almost… except 30 years later I still remind her of the time she “blinded” the most senior faculty members at one of the world’s most prestigious universities 😂

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LC_Anderton t1_it8cm6p wrote

Reply to I’m a marine biologist. While exploring a 'hidden beach' off the Southern coast of Thailand, we uncovered a lifeform unlike anything else on earth... by lightingnations

Yeah… the bit OP’s not telling you is that they actually made a deal with Ol’ Stacky.

There are many new and scientifically revolutionary medicines being discovered from marine organisms in the ocean depths these days… the kind of thing that could make you a billionaire… and exactly the kind of thing a marine biologist would know how to exploit… obviously OP is trading knowledge from the intelligent sea monster in exchange for regular snacks.

Just keep an eye out for “Lightingnations Thai Beach Excursions and Diving Trips”… coming to a resort near you soon… 😏

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