I mean lets be honest, had Jake come here to tell the story saying he let his GF stick her head in there, everyone would have called him a jerk too. I guess the whole thing was her idea though

Not many humans believe this is possible? Come on, you gotta give us a little more credit than that. You extra terrestrials think you're so slick and that nobody notices your disguises, you look just like a human and you think you blend in. In reality, we do notice. We have a phrase for it, called "uncanny valley" where our instincts tell us that something is off. You may look human and act human, but we know better. We can tell

This was a relatively happy ending considering the hell you've been going through. I'm glad it turned out so well and you even got a few good life lessons out of it. As you'll continue to learn as you grow up, real life isn't like school. In school, you get the lesson first and then you take the test. In real life though, you get the test first and the lesson comes after

Kill it with fire

This is a scary thought to think that our justice system is so fucked up that a women who was minding her own business on a jog could be convicted for killing a man who assaults her and tries to kill her. I guess you know what they say though, rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

I wish you had killed him. If they tried you and I was on the jury I would acquit you 100% even if every single other person in the room wanted to convict you. Scumbags like that don't deserve to share the same air with the rest of us and they sure as shit don't deserve our tax dollars spent to keep them alive in jail

Man there's always some fucked up shit going on in Tomskog, isn't there?

Ask your kids if they remember having a father. That should let you know if your house is okay or not

Hold on, so you had the cure for cancer and you burned it? I understand that the ends don't justify the means, but what's done is done and you can't undo it. At the very least you could have given those people's suffering and deaths some meaning. Now they all died for nothing

Maybe you could have tossed other Nick all the way through the mirror instead of just his head. Who knows, maybe once other Nick was back inside the mirror, regular Nick would be free. It seems like other Nick actually was the entity that trapped real Nick inside the mirror and tried to take over his life

Daniel needs to put on his big girl panties and do something to help himself. He's acting like a baby, and you don't get paid to be a babysitter. He's lucky that you even told him what to do and gave him advice. It's nice of you to want to help, but the devil is right. It's not your problem. Those were some solid exercises to learn the art of saying "no"

Man you were so close to catching him, but no dice I guess..

How did your mom manage to escape without you seeing or hearing something? You said you only opened the front door for a second before you were able to open your eyes and nobody was in your house, where did she go?

Beat it Grandma this is my hood now!

Ooooh I'm totally shipping you & your new vampire bae. Do you prefer Noré or Renora? Here's to hoping you don't end up blowing a hole in his chest a second time ;)

The next time my Grandma asks me when I'm going to have kids, I'm showing her this

Bennis the Menace, who knew that Dennis had a little brother?

Ohhh Nora.. I'm glad to see a couple more updates from you, however you've had quite a week. I'm sad to know that Martina is actually gone and it wasn't just a bad dream. Had the circumstances been different, I would have found it hilarious how even after she passed, she was still the same old Martina, taking over the lady's body against her will during the séance to talk to you and even calling her a fraudster.

I'm glad you found a friend in René, he seems like a good guy. If you ever need some company in the future, I'll take a trip up there. Thanks to some smart investments, I'm retired at 31, which means I'm free if you ever need some help. I'll even stop at OLL and bring you a gallon of holy water, I wonder if that would help against what you're dealing with. No offense to him, but I really hope that René is wrong and that you'll be around for much longer than a year.

Anyway, sending love & positive vibes from Jersey. Looking forward to your next update, as always, as long as it doesn't involve you or anyone you care about being seriously hurt or killed. It seems as though you're in a lot of danger and I wish there was more I could do to help protect you. Please be careful.

Option 3, Stab Nate in the fucking face and eat him too. Btw, how do you know what kittens taste like??

I like to believe that she chose you for the house because she knew one day your husband would become abusive and that it would save your life like it did for her. She did say that only a certain kind of person wants the house and your husband fit that type. The type of person who would do horrible things with it.

That being said, it seems only right that she would be laid to rest downstairs in the hot spot with the rest of them if that's what she requests, because if not for her, you would have had no easy escape from that abusive relationship.

*Grabs a sharpie and a picket sign*

Torches & Pitchforks here! Get your torches & pitchforks!

Free for anyone who wants to stab Corey in the face!

I think in your case you'd be lucky if all it did was chain you up and force feed you drugs :)

You need to put more distance in between you & your mom. Like a few states, minimum. Ideally like a whole country and a couple oceans. Don't go anywhere obvious, like to a family or friends house. If you're going to get a hotel room, pay cash and don't give them a real name. Don't leave a paper trail.

Get rid of your cell phone, especially if it's on your mom's plan. Remove SIM, turn off location tracking, and then get rid of that phone. Leave it somewhere far away from where you're staying. Go to the nearest CVS / Walmart / Walgreens and buy a prepaid burner phone with cash, you can get Net10 really cheap. Don't use any credit or debit cards if your mom has access to the account. If you need to pull cash, use an ATM close to your hometown, get enough that you won't have to do it again for a while, and then book it far away from there, again being careful not to use anything close to where you're staying so you don't lead them to you.

Check what your grandma has that can be tracked. Make sure she follows the same steps. Get an Uber from your burner phone and once you get to the destination, ask them if you can pay them cash to take you somewhere else without using the app. Ask the driver for their number and ask if you can call them directly next time and pay cash. Explain why. In my experience most Uber drivers will jump at the opportunity to drive you wherever you need to go and will happily accept cash. Don't forget to tip them.

So now you should have a place to stay that's not in your name, a burner phone that nobody knows about, a pocket full of cash, and a driver that's off the books and can't be traced. Time to disappear. Good luck with everything & be safe!

Let's be real here, the red ranger was a badass. This little shit is clearly not red ranger material. It's not your fault he doesn't have what it takes. You don't want your son hanging around someone who brings such shame to the red ranger mask. He's a bad influence. I know Jason would agree with me - he would never cry or run away

Humanity exited this existing plane, in a plane. How fitting, lol

Edit: Thank you for the anonymous award, kind stranger!