Thanks! I have a hard time accepting the pain and feeling broken as a result. Hopefully I will be more content one day.

Nope actually specifically directed to the OP who claimed to be healing.

I’m genuinely curious/eager to heal.

How do you heal when you don’t know yourself without the pain?

I mean this earnestly, I feel the same and have been in therapy for a decade but I don’t see who I can be without the trauma.