Littleman88 t1_ivjnz0o wrote

Fake it 'til you make it? Or in other words, become the self you want to be.

Honestly, you'll love your happiest and/or most successful self most. A lot of people will interpret the post to mean "stop giving a shit what others think!" which, heh, we're herd animals and we live in a society. Denying a fundamental human experience isn't going to work. It just breaks us.

Unless you already have people you deeply respect that you know appreciate you and you feel your emotional needs met, not giving a shit about how other people think about you is a fine way to not give a shit about other people period, though it does ironically help with tolerating rejection when you get into social things like the dating game.


Littleman88 t1_ivjmpgr wrote

It's bold to make the first step and gain some ground. Then you get scared you'll lose it all by opening your mouth and saying something insensitive or dumb.

Yeah, for people where ever step forward is a struggle, it makes sense they'd be terrified of doing anything that would instantly take them back to the starting line. It's why confidence is so hard for some people, especially people that have never felt like "winners."

We've all presumably played chutes and ladders? Every roll feels like it could land us on that one space with the really long chute, and we can't see any ladders. Brave to roll again, sure, but the chute is always there.


Littleman88 t1_it7bcov wrote

It's really about dismissal of someone's feelings and not recognizing it.

Someone having just a negative moment needs compassion, not a positive spin.

Someone comfortable in negative thoughts needs compassion and a positive spin.

The difference here is in the term "silver lining." If you're looking for the silver lining, it's essentially belittling the pain someone is going through as it roughly translates to "please feel better so we can go back to normal." The only person allowed to observe the silver lining is the person feeling upset.

For the people that find comfort in a negative mindset, yeah, you basically have to contend with their glass-half-empty-will-run-out worldview using a glass-half-full-could-be-fuller view and actually show them their worries are misplaced. No one wants to be a glass-half-empty thinker, it's a coping mechanism because they're just tired of feeling like all they ever do is lose and expecting and accepting the next loss ahead of time softens the blow.


Littleman88 t1_is6qhbk wrote

And those rural Americans spat back in the Democrats' faces because they were told to by the Republicans or simply because they weren't Republicans. Ruralites are looking for an easy out or to at least to stay in their comfort zone (like mining and huffing coal.)

Dems can only lead them to water, but if they refuse to drink because a snake told them the water is poisoned, then there's nothing left to do but watch them take to their own graves.

And yes, Democrats/lefties are awful with messaging and refuse to ever consider changing it when it's pointed out. Much less embarrassing to hide behind some morality card and insist their critics are racist/sexist assholes for suggesting their advertising game needs improvement.