Lord_Boo t1_isv6y5h wrote

INFO: What, exactly, do you mean when it makes you feel small and weak?

I'll get this out of the way right now, if this is an emasculation thing, YTA twice over. One for making a stink over the fact that your girlfriend is stronger than you. If you need to feel like a big strong man and protect your dainty lady, do her the favor of telling her she deserves a man more secure than you at her side and end things. And YTA even more that instead of dumping your bendy straw ass her family wants to bring you in and make you stronger so you don't feel like shit about that, and then you COMPLAIN?! Forget looking for a girlfriend, just get a fucking hamster if all you want is something to be bigger and stronger than without putting in the effort.

That being said, is this more of a vulnerability thing? That's valid, and something that gnomes and goblins and the like have to deal with all the time. Let her know that the culture you and your family are from is very different to hers. That for you guys, getting picked up and slung around can come off as threatening, it's not how you guys show affection. In cultures like orcs or even Goliaths, something like that is a way of saying, "see how strong I am? If you're in danger I'll protect you." feats of strength are displays of safety in cultures with a strong emphasis on athletics or combat. But you need to sit her down and talk to her about this. Let her know that for your family, that comes off as "see how strong I am? Upset me and I'll snap you like a twig." she'll need to make that effort to adjust for your family, but you need to make an effort too. That's how she shows affection in all likelihood so you need to get used to being dead lifted and not taking offense to that. And definitely be gracious that they're trying to include you but you can politely decline if that's not your scene. But don't be afraid to open up more, maybe offer to show them some of your interests, like archery or alchemy or divination. And in this case I'd say NAH, just some growing pains over a bit of culture shock.