Bruh,. Classic toxic. Run hard and fast. Don't go back under any circumstances.

That's pretty wow. He should either treat you or plan a different trip for just the two of you. If he were as into you as he should be for things to continue he should be worried that he needs to take you to keep you as gf.

Men don't always understand their role is to give resources whereas the woman's role is to put those resources to use for the common purpose.

It's like ripping off a band aid. It gets easier with practice.

If he's not seen you like that before then you really degraded yourself in his eyes.

You learned that drinking is not for you. If you don't understand this, then read through the posts on here. An awful lot are about things that only happened because of drinking by people who can't handle alcohol. No shame in learning so you can be your best.

There are exceptions to every rule. What numbers I've found on success rates for living together first vs marrying show living together fails more than marriage.

So, in giving advice to a stranger from a reddit post I say go by the numbers rather than giving a reflection of ourselves. I haven't seen any numbers on length of dating, but the general rule in my part of the world is that being obviously a forever match at about six months or so is a good indicator. Having issues that early is, too.

You're at the point where you need to be sure and making marriage plans or calling it quits.

That's big picture and what anyone would consider. Your mental health questions are for a doctor not reddit. I would suggest you consider non-pharmaceutical treatment by a professional.