Because it'll wreck the illusion that this guy wants to get into gaming?

The call out of the hot girlfriend gave him away

I don't think there's any chance you can. You're much too alpha for gaming.

Your question reads like you think they both suck at exclusives

If yours looks like a stormtrooper helmet, you should probably see a doctor.

Imagine trying to write a "reasoned critique" but then forcing the word "Ass" and "Dork" into it and undermining everything you wanted to achieve.