I really don’t care for these “motivating” false dilemmas. Never mind that they encourage negative self-talk (which we could all use more of, amirite? 🙄). These are not the ONLY options for why you are not successful, or don’t believe yourself to be. What happened to mediocrity? Being average? Just being “okay” at something? We are not all “A” or “F” students in the school of life; the “C” student deserves attention too, because they are no less worthy of motivation or praise and no more deserving of contempt and condescension than the outliers are.

Maybe you don’t completely suck at something, but you’re not that great at it, either. So what? If you enjoy it, can support yourself, are respected by your peers, etc., isn’t that good enough? Maybe you’re too hard on yourself, but that doesn’t mean you should get a swollen head either. Why not just be self-aware enough to know that, like everyone else, you’re a WIP who’s doing their best, and you can never stop improving?

Either way, false dilemmas are irritating and deserve to be called out for the BS they are. 😑

If you like story podcasts or audiobooks, definitely check out the app Zombies, Run! (for iOS and Android) Despite the name, you can walk or jog instead of running if you like. The app tells the story of, unsurprisingly, a zombie apocalypse and its survivors. You are one of those survivors, and the star of the show; as you keep moving (which you can do on a treadmill as well), you’ll pick up items, rebuild your base and progress the story. You can even set the app to occasionally make you pick up the pace when the zombies get too close. There are no goals or thresholds you have to hit; you can just set how long you would like to exercise or for how many miles.

Otherwise, finding a good audiobook or story podcast and only listening to it during exercise is a terrific motivator. I owe the shedding of several pounds, over many evening walks, to Welcome to Night Vale, Alice Isn’t Dead, Within the Wires and The Orbiting Human Circus. If you’re more into nonfiction, try a true crime podcast (you’re spoiled for choice there) or something like The Plot Thickens, which tells stories about the film industry.

As any fan of soaps or serials knows, the need to know WTH is going to happen next tends to override most, if not all objections and obstacles. 😉

“You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.” ~ All-Star Superman

Brings me to tears every. F’ing. Time.

“If you don’t learn from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.” ~ Anonymous

“Either you have an enviable memory, or a pitiable life, to know nothing of regret.” ~ Sten, Dragon Age: Origins

I think about this quote a lot, and not just b/c DA:O is my all-time favorite video game (in part b/c of writing like this). The words “pitiable life” jump out at me; Sten appears to be saying that having regret for things one has done (and by this point, he has done much that he regrets) is, while unfortunate, more respectable than any regret one might feel for never taking any risks.

I have my share of regrets, but the ones where I wish I had said or done something differently, been a better friend/girlfriend/daughter, etc., don’t eat away at me like regrets about things I didn’t do. Nothing major, mostly just things I wish I had told people when they were still around to hear them, but they still weigh on me more than any regrets I have about things that did happen. I’ve learned from my regrets about prior actions and words, and I like to think I’m a better person for that. But my regrets about not doing something? All I get from those is a constant refrain of, “Dammit, why didn’t I…? What would’ve happened if…”

Well, okay, and the following lessons, which are still important, and I hope you never have to learn them the hard way, like I did:

1. No one has a contract with God (or whatever higher power you may believe in);
2. The time to tell someone how much they mean to you is when they’re around to hear it…not when you’re standing next to their grave.

…wow, that turned out way more depressing than I intended. But you know what? At least now, all the important people in my life, present and future, will always know how I feel about them.

I minored in anthropology in college, and many anthropologists have to do exactly this when they’re visiting and studying another culture. Observe, but don’t respond. Just make a note and focus your attention elsewhere as needed.