You're joking right? St Peter did everything right on earth, so much so that he was canonised and God repaid him by making him the only person in heaven to have a stressful, permanent, full-time job. I'd be cursing him every which way if I were him!!

My personal favourite is:

A man is being interviewed at a police station. A man leans forward and says "I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present". The police officer, confused, replies "but you are the lawyer" and the lawyer says "yeah...so where's my present?"