Ha. Fair. Though if we're going down that rabbit hole, couldn't it be argued that a large chunk of the blues is the sound of minor key melodies over major chords?

It takes more than simply using a minor key to make a song evoke sad emotions. The minor keys have traditional been more effective at doing so, but they're surprisingly versatile. A majority of electronic dancehall music in the 90s was written in aeolian, for example. Seven Nation Army became a sports anthem with a solidly minor riff. But to more clearly illustrate the point:

Major key songs that sound sad:

• Radiohead - No Surprises

• Adele - Someone Like You

• Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun

• Taps (funeral song)

And conversely, happy songs in minor keys:

• Usher - Yeah

• Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back

• Lady Gaga - Just Dance

• LMFAO - Party Rock

Self-interest is beating out group-cohesion and self-protection in just an absolute banger of a 1-v-2 fight.