Mad respect for putting your feelings out there respectfully.

Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. Best paradigm shift that ever happened in my life was going from never speaking my mind and always wondering “what if…” to finally losing that fear of rejection and making sure I said what I needed to say. Not putting it out there and then agonizing over missed opportunities felt so so much worse to me.

Be respectful, speak your mind, then rest easy knowing you did all you could. You can feel good about that.

The better thing to say than “you choose me or them” is to say “let me know when you’ve got your situation figured out and we can talk, not sure where I’ll stand by then, but I shouldn’t stand in your way.”

Cuz that’s the truth. If someone is gonna wander, they are gonna do it regardless of what you do. You want a partner, a companion. Not a contractual obligation. Squeezing tighter just causes more damage.

Be thankful you found this out early.

I dunno. I think I’m like you and would be bummed to have never said anything about your thoughts. You said what you said, then she declined but says it’s all good as long as there is no ulterior motive.

So now that you’ve gotten it off your chest and it wasn’t reciprocated I’d just take it at face value and act like all is normal, as best as you can.

I’d bet that “less is more” in terms of your next steps. Apologize, but don’t go crazy. Tell her you think she’s legit and you want the best for her, and that the way you said it wasn’t intended to be an actual move, just that a dude would be lucky to have her.

Then on to the next subject. If you make it awkward it’s gonna get awkward. Just do your thing, if you belabor the subject too much it’ll be too cringe. If you brush it off she’ll hopefully just come to respect the honesty.