MsBuzzkillington83
MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujevdx wrote
Reply to comment by Capricondor in My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]
Oh sorry, saw your edit now, fair enough.
Yeah give it time, u can also discuss couples therapy to work around some of those barriers, idk
MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujemcu wrote
Reply to comment by Capricondor in My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]
A defensive reaction is always suspicious
Can u speak to her in a way like "okay I believe u aren't cheating but I do believe there's something wrong because people that don't have something to hide don't get defensive about nothing, if it's embarrassing, it's okay, I'm just curious because it seems like a pretty big deal"
Don't feel bad, u did nothing wrong
Is there something that she might be discussing that she'd be self conscious about?
Like, I don't really think she's totally cheating either but she's definitely hiding something
Ask reddit for chat website interfaces to see if u find anything that looks familiar maybe, if she won't tell u more
Like she doesn't have to give a ton of detail but she should be able to provide an answer that makes sense
MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujbp92 wrote
Reply to My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]
Why tf is she so damn defensive?
A) I don't think u did anything wrong
B) what did u do to not "trust her", asking for clarification is not a trust issue
C) it sounds like she's trying to manipulate u to distract from the fact she's doing something she doesn't want u to know about, why is therapy so bad unless she's discussing separating with u
MsBuzzkillington83 t1_iujqw2c wrote
Reply to comment by sxfrklarret in My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]
Well I see u didn't read the comments I made after, I said she's hiding something, I was thinking seeing the therapist about her leaving him
Unless he was accusing her, he did nothing wrong
As far as I gathered, he asked her twice, both of the times she acted suspicious.
OP explained her personality and after that u suspect she just thinks therapy is a weakness or embarrassment