I think you are right about the co dependency issue and my lack of healthy relationship experience. The only other relationship i was in was 8 year long, toxic and abusive one and ive tried to freak out less in this healthy relationship. Where my ex was dominant and expressive he was also uncaring and hurtful with anger issues. I come from home with unstable mother and father that abandoned us.
Ive told him that i would Like for him to be more expressive as that is the how i feel connected to someone.. Not just how much they love me but meaningful things. And that i understand he is not that deep and meet him half way.
I crave that romance and deep connection that i see other ppl have but at the same time i know i got safety, comfort, respect and care which i am utmost grateful for and thats why i feel i am being unfair to him. But its also Like a nagging feeling thst i cant get rid of.
Ive told him if he ever have a problem to tell me and rather upset me but not keep things away from me. He would rather keep his trauma hidden because it would upset me for the moment. You hit it spot on that he wants to keep peace at all times.
Yeah you are probably right.. This is the only thing that keeps bugging me in our relationship the whole time. He isnt outspoken or expressive and i am anxious person who needs to hear it a lot.
Ive been working on meeting half way because he is really amazing in every other area and i dont want to change someone. I dont want to shape them.. Its just my needs and i feel u fair because of them.
I dont wanna loose him either.
No_Wrangler4414 OP t1_j2dwsek wrote
Reply to comment by wirylime in [25F] [27M] Am i too demanding/mothering to my bf of 2 years? I am tired and anxious by No_Wrangler4414
I think you are right about the co dependency issue and my lack of healthy relationship experience. The only other relationship i was in was 8 year long, toxic and abusive one and ive tried to freak out less in this healthy relationship. Where my ex was dominant and expressive he was also uncaring and hurtful with anger issues. I come from home with unstable mother and father that abandoned us.
Ive told him that i would Like for him to be more expressive as that is the how i feel connected to someone.. Not just how much they love me but meaningful things. And that i understand he is not that deep and meet him half way.
I crave that romance and deep connection that i see other ppl have but at the same time i know i got safety, comfort, respect and care which i am utmost grateful for and thats why i feel i am being unfair to him. But its also Like a nagging feeling thst i cant get rid of.
Ive told him if he ever have a problem to tell me and rather upset me but not keep things away from me. He would rather keep his trauma hidden because it would upset me for the moment. You hit it spot on that he wants to keep peace at all times.