Noetherville

Noetherville t1_j2e18am wrote

Reply to [32M][32F] Is my wife a manipulator? by throwRAhazza590

If you are completely unresponsive to her tactics, as in grey rocking. Will she up the ante? Will she continue and intensify her manipulation until she gets a response from you?

It does sounds like some type of attention seeking behaviour, or histrionic type personality.

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Noetherville t1_j2d78yy wrote

Reply to (17F) (53M) (49F) I am stuck between my parents’ cultural differences and it’s causing conflict in my family. by TheSpiciestKiwi

The problem is not with your two different cultural heritages, it’s your mum. You are not stuck between two cultures, you are of both cultures and neither your mum and dad can tell you how to incorporate those two cultures into your life. They are Chinese and Laotian, respectively, while you’re Chinese-Laotian-American. Your cultural identity is different from your parents. How you approach this part of your identity will be your journey, and yours alone. With the support of maybe other Chinese-Laotian-Americans. There isn’t any conflict. In Laotian ceremonies, white is good luck, in Chinese it’s bad luck. Sometimes you need a spoon, other times you need a fork.

It’s your mum that’s making it a problem because she isn’t respecting your cultural identity which is Chinese-Laotian-American, and not Chinese. If she wanted a Chinese kid, she shouldn’t have chosen a Laotian father and moved to USA. So remember, you are allowed to form your own cultural identity, and the conflict is from your mum who has actively kept your father out of your upbringing and all of his traditions. I would be careful with your mother. She sounds very egotistical.

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Noetherville t1_iuhpauj wrote

Reply to if anyone's read my past post it's on the same topic. my fiance of 7 years and I have been arguing a lot. he just doesn't care about anyone but himself. by Overall_Log_9882

>it's just hard to throw away something I've invested so much time and effort into

It’s called sunk cost fallacy.

“Individuals commit the sunk cost fallacy when they continue a behavior or endeavor as a result of previously invested resources”

That is, you only continue because you don’t want to loose your time and effort without anything in return. WITHOUT taking into account weather the venture has failed already. Your investment makes no difference to the outcome of this relationship and the best thing is to cut your losses before you sink any more of your time that you can’t get back into a failed project.

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