Now_Villager

Now_Villager t1_jeeniva wrote

It sounds like this was the final straw for her. I think what she's asking you to do is be fully present when you're with her.

If you met her when she was maybe 17, it makes me wonder if it was arranged, a love match or something else. In any relationship, but especially one with a large age gap, it's really important to understand each other's expectations and be clear on how you're going to compromise.

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Now_Villager t1_j2eqs5n wrote

Well, you sound like you've made up your mind to do it, so not sure if you're open to other views, but I think you should be very cautious as this seems likely to make your wife's trauma worse. Even with her permission (which maybe she feels she has to give to keep you happy) it's still a betrayal of your marriage vows.

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Now_Villager t1_iyed3qq wrote

This isn't a criticism, but at some level could it be about getting validation? Sometimes people who don't feel much self esteem or maybe confidence (especially when you're young) will look for it from other people, and once you've got it you lose interest in them. If that sounds like it might be you, make a list of all your strengths, good points and your dreams to help get clear on who you are.

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