This. And i do absolutely love hanging out with the young ones in small doses perhaps a couple of times a month. As someone in their 30s, i get to learn a lot, and imbibe some of that youthful enthusiasm. But any more than once or twice a month and that selfsame youthful enthusiasm is, more than likely, going to become annoying to the point of gouging out my eyeballs and giving myself sensorineural hearing loss.

The brass and tacs here is that OP is, perhaps overinvested, and for him, OP is perhaps slightly more than a form of assisted masturbation.

FML. Similar situation which happened a month ago. Getting into it with her on top. She asked me to slap her ass, and so i obliged. Harder still, again i did. She asked for a third time, except this time i nailed one of my testicles with an overarching finger.

I immediately turned towards the affected side throwing her off my bed and onto the tiled floor. I hit myself so hard that i was worried i might have to check myself into emergency. It hurt for a month straight. She's fine too.

It's the discipline you learnt, good person, that will see you through in life. I cannot begin to relate to the overwhelming emotions you're perhaps feeling right now. But know that how you behave during these times, and what you do next, whether you report to the authorities, or channel your lessons even harder, what's important is you'll look back one day and consider this a valuable lesson, rather than a significant loss.

Godspeed. You do not need luck when you've got the will.