Sounds like she likes attention. You did the right thing by talking to your husband and he did the right thing but putting her in her place.

More than half the issues here could be solved with communication

You could just agree when you move his had on to you in the future it’s go time, you could tell him to kiss your neck or have phrases that mean you are in the mood “let’s have sex”, “get your arse upstairs, I’ll be up in 5 min”, “me snu snu now!”, etc