Reconciliation is an extremely difficult job to pull off with lower success rates according to stats. That's not to discourage you but it takes 2 to repair a relationship and he seems done. I'm sorry OP. You can use some help from r/SupportforWaywards and resources from r/SupportforBetrayed to help yourself and your partner. Best of luck

There's a good chance she's minimizing and trickle truthing(not telling you entire truth)

If your gut is telling there's more than that's probably true. Whatever you decide, be it reconciliation or divorce, decide it with a clear head. While on it, do check out r/SupportforBetrayed. It has helpful recovery resources that you need

Best of luck OP