Polymathy1

Polymathy1 t1_j6jwk8l wrote

It sounds like there is something crosswired.

It also sounds like someone set the switches up to all have power coming into them but then to only switch one leg. Cars do switches like this, where an entire circuit is powered and the switch only changes one connection.

Either way, sounds wrong and dangerous for house wiring. Call an electrician. Could be someone did some goofy wiring and spliced a hot to neutral in the ceiling.

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Polymathy1 t1_iugu7ka wrote

Sorry to hear that. Laugh while you can because there is a lot of the sad parts coming.

Here's some practical advice for whoever spends time with her:

Don't argue on things that don't matter. You won't win and even if you do temporarily, fighting will just upset her. 10 minutes later, she will still be saying the same wrong thing but also be upset and unsure why she's upset. "You can't find your car keys? Oh, Nan, I just dropped it off to get the oil changed as a surprise/is in the shop." instead of "You don't have a car/license." Then change the subject to a very different thing.

Play music she likes and get her to talk about her past when she feels like it. Find out what music she likes and stuff it onto a music player. Music can help her have a better day when she is doing poorly because it stimulates more parts of the brain than many other things. When it gets worse, smells can really cut through bad feels and frustration. Find some smells she really finds calming or associates with good memories and write this stuff down so that you can keep track of it.

If you show up on a Tuesday and she calls you Mike all day and seems to like you like you're some friend of hers, just be Mike for the day. She might even say nice things about you as though you aren't you.

Do fun stuff with her that doesn't take much talking like gardening, feeding ducks, painting, singing, listening to music, or whatever. Things that take skill like knitting should be saved for good days. On the topic of knitting, dementia can make some people be shockingly and unexpectedly mean and violent. It isn't her fault, but don't get hurt either. I think it's like 40% of people with Alzheimer's that get mean.

Make sure someone is helping her with vision and hearing issues. Dementia plus being kind of blind and deaf sucks astronomically more than dementia when you can see and hear well enough to not have to repeat yourself.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Cheers to your Nan and you both.

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