As someone with anger issues, this makes sense. Ive learned that my rationale often conforms to my current feeling. I often feel different about situations after the fact when I'm calm

I like that quote a lot. Ima use that

Right. So you agree it's an if? The other thing about philosophy is that as time goes on, a lot of it turns out to be wrong. Philosophers agreed about plenty of things in the past and were wrong. Yeah we can make judgements, but it was not wrong at all here to say "if" and saying it in any other way that didn't denote that this is not concrete would be irresponsible imo.

For me, environmental factors are too great. We can see it just in watching people who grow up in certain areas. Environment has a huge effect on our development and decision making. Beyond that our nature just comes from a long line of action and consequence all the way back to the big bang. Sure I can self-reflect and make changes or improvements to myself. I can decide to do something different and crazy, but did I? I can't know I need to change or should change or want to change unless I've encountered information to convince me of that. You cant know what you don't know and haven't been exposed too. Cause and effect are too great of factors in my reality to pick a side on free will. I lean toward no, though. The part I struggle with is the mind and the idea that all consciousness is God. Therefore God i.e. You and I have already predetermined this or are creating this reality as we go. It twists my mind.

They believe it, they don't know it. Still an "if" until proven to be one way or the other

I had this conversation with my lady one night. My question was a bit different, it was "when does consciousness start, and do we have 'soul' before that?" Was trying to recall my first memory and it really terrified me that I was alive, breathing, eating, walking etc. all before I had any recollection. Made me wonder if consciousness requires a certain amount of information be taken in by the brain first.