ReaperInTraining

ReaperInTraining t1_jadzms2 wrote

(I decided to do an alternate twist on the prompt, with different perspectives)

My roommate Tom is a pretty nice guy. Donates to charities, does community service with the local Boy Scout troop, that kind of thing.

There’s only one problem about him.

He’s in MY GODDAMN HOUSE.

After I died of “Acute asphyxiation of the larynx” (Clearly, the coroner was getting some use out of her Word-A-Day calendar) the HOA decided to ignore my will and sell my house. Tom bought it, despite my best efforts, and I’ve sort of gotten used to him. Of course, that doesn’t mean I stopped trying to get him the hell out of my house, like how his shower inexplicably turned cold, or when his Wi-Fi mysteriously went out during an important Zoom meeting.

Unfortunately for me, he was determined to stay. He wound up attempting an exorcism, but he botched it and wound up creating a supernatural contract with me that not only allows him to see me, but hear me as well. He started treating me like his personal therapist, whining and griping about all his woes. He never seemed to listen to me when I told him that my major was mechanical engineering, not psychology.

But I guess he finally did understand me, and that led to this: Me, in the house of the HOA president, stealing vital parts from her toaster oven, stand mixer, lawn mower, and anything else I could put my degree to good use on. By the time I was done, the generator in her backyard was useless, and the next time she tried to mow her lawn, she’d find that she could only mow in square patches, since her mower wouldn’t move when it was turned on. My work done, I returned to my house (It was still my house, even though Tom was technically the legal owner) and informed Tom that my sabotage work was done. Soon enough, the entire HOA began moving out due to technical difficulties with their homes. As they moved out, the issues they complained of seemed to fix themselves, as if by magic.

I get the feeling Tom might not be as bad of a guy as I thought.

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ReaperInTraining t1_ixn95kh wrote

“I’m sorry, what?” I looked at the man with disgust. He looked frightened as I bared my fangs, ready to rip a chunk of his meat out and eat it in front of him, and said, “Th-that was one of the worst renditions of ‘The Spy and the Liar’ that I’ve ever heard. Please, stop. Singing just isn’t for you.” I glared at him. “Alright, then, you try.” He seemed taken aback. “What?” “You heard me. If my singing is so bad, you give it a shot. Let’s see how well you can sing.” He glanced around, as if he was trying to find a way out of this. I smirked, and said, “That’s what I thought.” He looked defeated, and my magic swirled around my throat as I began to sing once more. “From the spotlight, I can see you…Play your cards right, kill your stage fright, this could be you…If all the world’s a stage, let’s set it on fire…So you be the spy and I’ll be the liar!” Suddenly, he started to continue the song from the pause. “From the background, you can hear me…Highest billing, makes a killing, they revere me! That beautiful mask you wear, is all I desire, so you be the spy and I’ll be the liar!” I turned to look at him, and he smiled. “How’s that? Now do you see what I mean when I said singing isn’t for you?” I was seething. “Let’s do something instrumental. Why don’t you try this on for size?” I said through gritted teeth as I began to sing Selever’s part of Attack. He looked shocked, and stumbled over the notes. By the end, he had just given up, and said, “Fine. I take it back. You can sing, just stick to instrumentals. Give me whatever punishment you want.” I smiled, and said, “Any punishment?” Before he could answer, I poured my magic into both parts of Split EX. He stumbled back, and to his horror, (At least from what I could tell) blue scales were appearing on his arms. “No, please! Anything but that!” I ignored his pleas and continued singing. By the end, he was a siren too. “Well? Now how do you feel about my singing?” I asked. He screamed some curses at me, and dove into the sea. I smiled and resumed my singing. Humans are so fun to screw with.

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