It sounds like they were referring to their oldest child's wife not being allowed to look up family records she has access to through her job, as you say they likely require them to go through the formal process.

You could contact the [Maine Masonic Charitable Foundation] (https://masoniccharitablefoundation.org/). They can probably put you in touch with a lodge in your area, who may be able to donate to your cause.

My lodge donates thousands each year to local charities, including a couple food banks. The foundation can match our lodges contribution 2 to 1, so when we donate $500 the group gets $1,500.