I like romances. I'm straight. I like reading "smutty" romances.

I don't like it when they start banging within the first couple chapters, and I'd prefer it take even longer so I can feel invested in their relationship.

That being said, "erotica" is extremely popular and it's basically the book version of "porn with almost a sort of story to excuse the porn". It sounds like you found some erotica.

Sadly, these days almost all "romance" is erotica. It's hard to find real romances.

Seems like Detective Dick arrived with the pizza delivery early in that "detective thriller," lmao.

Or maybe he "dropped off a package". 🤣

110 Grill in Stratham. You don't even get to see prices. ;)

It's hard to make deep friendships in NH. The people are very nice, friendly, courteous. Yet they are always busy. As a person who, in adulthood, always had a couple of real, deep friendships and typically a friend group (less close) at any given time or place, I've been a fish out of water here.

I've resigned myself that I'm simply not going to have anything here but pleasant acquaintances. I've lived all over in the USA, but never find people simultaneously so pleasant and yet ultimately so distant.

Weirdly, most people I talk to about it agree... But still they aren't willing to move beyond whatever it is that causes this disconnect.

I thought it must be something weird about me, but other people feel the same way.

"Would you like to have coffee or go take an art class?"

"Yes, definitely! Here's my number!"

Call them..."How about Tuesday?" "Busy." "Wednesday?" "Busy." "Thursday?" "Busy." "Well, let me know if you get time."

Six months later they call, "Why don't you call me? I thought you wanted to go out for coffee?"

"I'd love to! How about Tuesday?" "Busy." "Wednesday?" "Busy." "Right, anyway, nice chat, see you around."

It's weird.

Love it! I call mine Ralph.

My apologies to any Ralphs out there. :P

Sometimes I just say, "Shut up, Ralph!"

Now I need to read it because I'm usually "that" person. The one the "guy with no legs" looks at from the end of the "someone is always worse off than you" line. Maybe it'll make me feel better.

There you go, then. :)

You're welcome. I once had an attorney who pushed me to take a plea deal, and he even lied to me and threatened me. He was supposed to be on my side!

I'm recommending her because I really do think she'll be on your side.

My own horrible experience with that guy makes me genuinely feel for you. I was absolutely innocent, and it sounds like that might be true for you. Too many people think you must be guilty if charges were filed at all. It's simply not true.

She did some very cruel stuff, but there's no doubt that she's in it to win it. That's better than being in it to win points with Prosecution or just to milk clients.

Best wishes to you.

Criminal and family law: https://lawyers.justia.com/lawyer/kimberly-a-shoen-1230434

As long as you don't care about zero scruples, zero moral character. She's one of those "nothing is sacred" types.

She's also in family law, that's where I know her from. Tell her I said "go fuck yourself." I personally detest her, but she does sound like what you need. Part of me hates to send her clients, but she's so aggressive my ex actually fired her, lol.

Excellent news indeed!

I'd wait. I HAD to go out yesterday and the battery died even though I had driven it pretty far. The alternator puts out like a champ and the thing still died.

When it's warmer the alternator can better keep up with the excessive draw caused by the cold. I had no other option but didn't realize my battery was "weak". It was working fine so long as the weather wasn't this cold, but then it was like... "Yeah, I ain't doin' this, man." RIP little battery... RIP.

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod helped me hugely in this area.

Meditate, read, exercise, journal, appreciate, visualize your day.

Nobody's stopping you and the other people complaning about eversource from starting your own post. Do you people really think that the average Joe or Jane or Jordan working on the street has the power or authority to make the changes you want? Do you think the CEO of ES reads reddit?

If you and u/Most_Expert_8080 really care so much, go do something about it in person, don't whine on Reddit in an appreciation post.

Read the room, FFS.

Locked in their rooms with floors and bed covered in human and animal shit?

Candace, is that you?!

Too many people in modern society forget that fantasy isn't real life. I don't really know anything about her, but I understand certain things about the "romance" genre.

Many people get really angry about elements of fictional romances that are for a certain market.

Let's take the "enemies to lovers" trope, since I'm getting that vibe from some comments. I'm not a fan, myself, but there's another related niche I like and I've gone out of my way to try to understand (why people like this sort of thing).

Some people like to read these kinds of fantasies because reading is a safe place to explore things you'd never do IRL.

A person who has had to end a relationship due to red flags, but they really loved that person and wish they had changed, can explore that safely through reading. Imagination is a safe space.

Even very dark fantasies can be safely indulged in (50 Shades ring any bells?) without getting any actual pain or risking running afoul of a true sadist instead of merely a redeemable scoundrel.

These books allow people to have a fantasy in a safe way.

But unfortunately, there are a lot of controlling, thought-policing people who can't separate fact from fiction. They believe that by creating a safe place to enjoy fantasies you'd never risk IRL, you are condoning the behaviors in the story.

That's simply not true.

Everyone but these thought police know...it's fantasy. Their excuse is that no fantasy should exist because what if someone follows through!?!?

In reality, people are more likely to follow through in risky ways if they can't indulge their imagination. They are more likely to follow through in extremely risky ways if they feel ashamed and demonized. The shame itself will drive them towards subconscious self harm.

It's better to give people space to explore it safely and to feel okay about themselves. It's just thoughts, not acted on. It's harmless to self and others when it's just a book.

Most people would enjoy being pursued by someone who loves and dotes on them, for example... But we know IRL such aggressive pursuit is typically abusive. So in person it turns us off. Not to mention it's usually someone we aren't at all attracted to, either.

Books, especially romances, allow us to let go of our reasonable concerns about stalking (for example) and indulge in a sense of being intensely pursued by a person we actually would love being pursued by.

Enemies to lovers allows a person to give in to a "forbidden" but overwhelming desire. Many of us have been deeply, intensely attracted to someone only to find out they're a jerk. In imagination, they are redeemable and come around in the end. IRL, you dare not take that chance.

Fiction is freedom. You can do in fiction what you never would IRL.

Some people want to take that away under "but it's normalizing abusive behavior!"

No, it isn't. It's giving people space to imagine before going back to the harsh reality that being pursued aggressively is only fun in fantasy, but is mostly dangerous and terrifying in reality.

For those to whom this means nothing, this is President Bill Clinton meeting President John F. Kennedy.

Who was assassinated, btw, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the part Bill wanted to emulate in this picture. 😉

I have heard a few good things about them. I might change to them if M&T doesn't sort their s&&t out. I like Kennebunk, I mostly prefer to have savings at a different bank to keep myself from quick transfers out of it.

I've learned to create healthy barriers for myself, lol.

Kennebunk Savings

I agree with avoiding TD, and I'd avoid NorthEast as well. NE closed my account due to fraudulent charges, then agreed they were fraudulent, but said they could no longer do anything about it because the account was closed and tried to get me to pay them since they closed the account.

I have M&T bank as my main bank, but they changed policies on check cashing. My ex and I have the same bank so I could deposit checks "as cash" to clear immediately, but now all checks regardless have to "clear" so the money is locked up for two days.

Will likely change all my banking to kennebunk.

Challenge is finding housing. We're in a housing crisis right now.

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

No, sorry. I wish I could. I truly wish I could, but nope. Just not happening.

(Put me on the list for Dune, also... but it's not my greatest DNF regret)

Well, leaving blood around for "the help" is, regardless of your kink, pretty inappropriate, imo. That was the center of our conversation. I mean, you do you, but... making people clean that up? I sure hope they get paid well. :P

Lucky you skimmed it, then. :P

Different person told me about that one. She was appalled. I mean it's one thing to know about such things, but who the hell wants to read about it in their leisure time??

You mean sex scenes that include >!bloody tampons!< don't do it for you? Especially when he leaves it there for "the help" to clean up after?

Oh no, lol.

I don't remember what the exact phrase was anymore (thank goodness), but my friend said, "If you take out everything except the phrase 'he ran his hand through his dark hair,' you'd still have most of the book left," and that convinced me that my early dislike of it was right, lol.

Yikes. :P

I'll be honest, it's not even useful as a "well, now I feel better about my own writing" because it's comparable to a toddler scribbling and a talented middle school artist saying, "I feel better about my own drawing skills now!"

It's THAT awful. Oy!