I wouldn’t necessarily open it for the police either.

My upstairs neighbor had double parked her car. Cop came along, ran the plates and apparently thought that it was mine, because he came and rang the bell, which doesn’t work. Then he knocked. When I didn’t answer he banged harder and yelled “Are you gonna open this door?”

I said through the door, “No.”

So he starts scolding me through the door about the double parked car. I said it’s not mine. He says it’s registered at this address. I tell him “It’s a two family house” (thinking: genius). “Knock on the other door.”

Makes sense, there was one on 59 in Monsey NY that shared the same physical structure as a humongous Pathmark. Now it’s a kosher supermarket (Evergreen), Amazing Savings, and a bunch of smaller stores.

Van Houten isn’t the greatest idea. Lots of lights. One lane each way, one double parked car will block you. Also when it snows, they just plow to the sides, and it gets narrower and narrower, when you go past School 3 there’s barely room for one lane between the parked cars as you near springtime.

Good grief. I haven’t heard that first track in decades. Probably heard it on Doctor Demento back in the 80s.

I think they were figuring the odds mathematically. Odds of being struck by lightning, x; odds of being eaten by shark, y; odds of both happening simultaneously, xy; odds of hitting the Powerball, z, where xy<z.

Someone on WINS put it like this: you have a better chance of being struck by lightning, while simultaneously being eaten by a shark, than hitting the powerball.