I don’t disagree with the point about distinguishing between one being more worth of love but individuality is really only existent because of group thought. Everything you have ever learned was a linguistic depiction of reality or events told by someone else. There is one human knowledge that is constantly growing that you can choose to learn from and eventually build up on if you focus on a field of study and make some discovery. I believe in subjective morality and that it is ultimately learned unless genetic conditions. Although it’s utterly impossible to have a definitive answer on morality at all in my opinion

To be altruistic is to be intentional, no matter what altruistic action your doing you still have motivation. So selfishness is purely an opinion of other people as everyone is motivated internally and everyone carry’s out actions because they chose to. Selfish- lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

I agree with you in the sense that you cannot help and make a difference in other people without first making a difference in yourself, but why would you be creating change in yourself in the first place if not only to improve the lives of those around you. Are you not being altruistic towards the people you spend time with or interact daily with if you are trying to better yourself? Wouldn't the idea of being individual only exist because groups exist.