How would you feel about actual photographs? Like, a physical picture, not a digital one placed on social media.

I can totally get someone being REALLY apprehensive about having their picture taken, in the same way that nobody wants to be video'd on someones phone. It sucks, and sometimes you really just want to have your privacy and other people's feelings be damned, here.

But I remember in my childhood having a photo album of family members - some of which must've passed away when I was an infant. It was nice to have a face to a name, and have my family tell me "Well, that's your grandpa/grandma, and that's your uncle." It was nice to see them when they must've been an important part of people's lives, you know? Like, I never knew them. But I could tell it mattered to my mother and father.

Totally get not wanting your picture taken. But it never hurts to have at least one nice one for family to remember you by.

I think it’s definitely a nuance thing. If you’re uncomfortable having your picture taken, by all means, don’t do it. I know it sucks, but some people just…are struggling at times. Maybe there’s an issue of trauma, or even a safety issue if the person in question used to be stalked and a lot of pictures today end up on social media. But, you are still a permanent fixture in the lives of others, and your presence and love means something to people. If you don’t want to have your picture taken - is there something else you could leave behind?

As silly as it is, although I have a lot of photos of my mother, the thing that I oddly cherish the most is an old card that she gave to me when I was a teen struggling with something, and it had a long, heartwarming message about how much she loved me. Her handwriting and her words were important and speaks volumes about what kind of person she was. Likewise - I have no memories of my paternal grandparents. But, I have a baby blanket that was knitted by my paternal grandmother, and a little christmas elf statue with my paternal grandfather’s handwriting wishing a merry christmas on the base. Proof that they were there, and they were loved.

So…yes. Respect people’s consent. But, I implore you, those of you who don’t like your pictures taken: leave something behind to these events. Talk about them, write about them, let people know how much you care about them. It’ll matter a lot to people later.