Spiersy_

Spiersy_ t1_j9j4813 wrote

> I just feel like I cant share all my burden with him and so I dont tell him.

Unfortunately that's a big part of being in a relationship, you have to burden each other. Communication is essential. It is up to them whether they can deal or want to bail, can't make that decision for them.

Glad to hear you've resolved it in a very positive way. Sorry for all your losses, but you seem to have a pretty solid support system going. Just try not to be so hard on yourself, life isn't easy.

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Spiersy_ t1_j5r8df9 wrote

You made a mistake, something we all do. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, especially since it was medical in nature.

It may not be fixable, relationships are fragile in the beginning, but you'll never know if you just assume and make his decision for him. Reach out and communicate.

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Spiersy_ t1_j1j5jvw wrote

Everything comes down to chance. The fact that you're living today is the result of a billion little chances that could've gone the other way, but didn't.

I mean, there's an endless list of things that had to go "right" for you to even just meet your wife. You'd be butthurt for the rest of your life if you thought about all the things that could've prevented you from being together.

Best not to worry about things you can't change, and just thank Tink for making the right choice.

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Spiersy_ t1_ir6a9tn wrote

I mean, you're not wrong, it's a bit hypocritical of her to call you out for being friends, when she's still friends with exes. Maybe you went a little overboard with the whole "inside you" thing, but it definitely isn't something you need to see a therapist over.

You're clearly young, so just understand that communication is key in any relationship. Just talk to her like she talked to you. Tell her how you're feeling. No one is perfect.

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Spiersy_ t1_ir346nu wrote

I'm not against an apology at all. You can be sorry that something you did unintentionally hurt someone, without necessarily being sorry for what you did.

I am just against the sentiment in the comments that is telling OP that they must change who they are as a person. Some people out here expecting OP to walk on egg shells 24/7 because someone might take offence to something you say. That's not how I want to live.

Personally, I would just apologise for any unintended offence, and keep on moving. As long as there was no malicious intent it shouldn't need more than a conversation to get friends back on the same page.

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Spiersy_ t1_ir132pq wrote

I see so many people telling you to apologise for things you didn't do. Telling you to feel ashamed of that part of you, and to censor yourself in future. Sounds like terrible advice.

Sometimes some people unfortunately aren't suited to be friends. Just because someone doesn't get along with parts of you, doesn't mean you should change those parts. Don't change yourself because of someone else, only change because you want to be better.

I had to learn the hard way as a life long people pleaser that used to censor myself for peoples sensibilities. You will not like yourself at the end of the day, if you do that. Surround yourself with people that share and encourage your personality.

Good luck!

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