SweetCosmicPope t1_j9v6a8g wrote

Recommending therapy wasn't a FU. A lot of millenials, especially older millenials, still feel like getting therapy or seeing a psychiatrist means you're "crazy" or having it recommended means you think they're "crazy." It's not the case, but that's a perception some people still have, even if it's outdated.

It does sound like she needs therapy, and she probably should have had it before getting with someone who it sounds like may be a manipulative scumbag. Unfortunately, with those unresolved issues, she may be clinging to this manufactured "happiness" and throwing friendships out the window. I wouldn't be surprised if you hear from her years down the road about how big of a mistake that was and she wants to reconcile.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9trw9h wrote

I think he’s hit or miss, but mostly hit. Sometimes he feels a little out of place because they want him acting like a tough guy, but I don’t buy him as a particularly masculine rough and tumble guy.

But a movie like Wolf of Wall Street or Django Unchained, where he had a chance to emote and talk alot, then he just oozes charisma.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9knxy6 wrote

They're getting quite pricey. Even lower tier bands are going for $50 plus in a small venue, which not that long ago would get you floor seats at an arena.

I was surprised to see Garbage tickets going for $29.00 for the upcoming tour.

I paid around $80 for nosebleeds for Blink, and I was one of the lucky ones who didn't get boned by dynamic pricing.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9jvmy2 wrote

Crazy title. Great exhibition. I went a couple years ago and they built a tiny city full of Pearl Jam and Mother Love Bone artifacts. They even built a full size replica of their first practice space, including ratty chairs and old blankets.

MoPop (formerly the EMP) is a great museum overall and I always recommend it to visitors.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9i2yq5 wrote

Honestly, I just kind of floated around a bit. I got a stable job they paid well because my dad hooked me up. But I didn’t really start taking charge and being motivated until my son was born. Then I felt motivation to provide him a good life. I’ve been hustling ever since and I think I’ve done a pretty good job.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9hlwsu wrote

Okay, so while not the exact situation, I had a similar situation to you when I was in my late teens/early 20s.

I was dating a girl who was a very high achiever. Constantly working hard for school, got into an excellent college, volunteered a lot, etc; Me...failure to launch. I went to college briefly, but I was having a hard time finding my place in the world. I wasn't sure about who I was and what I wanted to do, and I really didn't have things figured out for some time after that. A major stressor in our relationship was this quarterlife crisis (as they call it). I too couldn't bring myself to just say how I was feeling, how it was making me behave in regards to my future, how it caused me to start acting out by doing stupid shit with my friends instead of focusing on what I needed to and left me in the perpetually immature state for a while. Had I done so, maybe there would have been some better understanding between the two of us.

So, my advice to you is let him cool off a bit, then have a frank discussion. Tell him how you're feeling, how you feel out of control and depressed. If he's a good dude he'll understand, give you a shoulder to cry on, and be there to support you and help you get to where you need to be mentally. If he can't do that, then this is doomed anyway. Because it will never work out with somebody who can't be loving and supportive and give you a hand up when you need it.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j9hkc9p wrote

I don't see this as a FU. I too am somebody who came from a religious background, though not particularly strict, and fell away from religion at a young age. It sounds, from the way you tell it, like your mother is worried 1. about what your father will think, and 2. about your "soul."

I don't have much to say about if your family can't accept you for who you are and what you believe. The real truth is that if they don't, you're going to have to make some serious decisions at some point. But as far as your soul is concerned, I think things can be a lot more palatable to your family if you can show some appreciation for some of the social customs that go along with your religion and some of the good memories you've had. You mention having had a good childhood and good family. That's great! You can still celebrate Ramadan and Eid and any of the other Muslim holidays I'm not familiar with with your family, the same as I can celebrate Christmas or Easter or whatever. And you can have a lot of fun and still build plenty of memories just as a matter of tradition. That doesn't mean you have to stick with some of the more overbearing traditions that some Muslim sects have or actually have any beliefs.

I expect that once your mother (and possibly father) have the opportunity to digest this change, you'll be okay. I would expect to be harassed about finding God. Trust me, I've heard that one from the older folks in my family for 20 plus years.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j6nz7a7 wrote

I think it helps to know what kind of field you're in to know what kind of job volumes are out there. Less jobs, means more competition and it's largely going to be a waiting game. Myself, I work in IT, so I can apply for about a hundred jobs a week if I need to.

Do you have work experience or just education?

What helped me when I was starting out was having a functional resume. It's all about psychology. You want to put your education, certifications, skills, etc at the top of the resume. Put your work experience at the bottom. Keywords are important, as well. That will get it through the automated filtering they use. When someone gets eyes on it, the studies show that after about the first 3rd of a page, people lose interest. If you can get their attention with all the good stuff early on in the resume, they'll have already decided they want to interview you by the time they get to your sparse work history.

It's probably a little late, but if you had an internship you should have/hopefully did make some connections. Some companies will offer jobs to interns after their program is over. If not, it's time to start cashing in on those connections and reaching out to folks and offering yourself up for service.


SweetCosmicPope t1_j6j8wyo wrote

It's largely going to be genetic. There are outlying issues, like if you have scoliosis or spina bifida which can cost you some inches, but otherwise it's going to be your genetics. One thing you can do to make sure you're growing is to make sure you're eating a healthy diet and getting plenty of exercise. Stimulate your muscles and your bones without damaging them. And get plenty of sleep at night.

I've also heard you get get a little bit extra with gravity boots or an inversion table, but I'm a little dubious on those claims.