This is simply trading one false/incomplete conception of one's self for another.

The first suggests that your future self is the most "real" you - You are incomplete, there are pieces of you missing. You will be at your most pure when you find those pieces in the world and it all falls into place.

The second suggests that your past self is the most "real" you - You are broken, things have happened in the past that harmed you. You will be at your most pure when you've shed your past and returned to your unbroken self.

While both observe a problem in the human condition, both are an incomplete picture, and when each is taken on its own, it can lead people down the paths of either aimless wandering or static self-diagnosis.

You are your most "real" self right now. You are incomplete. You are broken. Always have been. Always will be. What will you do with that?

That is an incredibly cynical way to interpret someone trying to help. If someone reached out to me about something they're dealing with, I'd want to help them. Even if trying to find a silver lining isn't what that person needs, my bumbling attempts to help come from a place of empathy, not selfishness.

Not everyone handles their struggles in the same way. For some people, finding those silver linings is their way of managing their own suffering. Naturally, they'd want to help others in the same way. It's not an inherently wrong position to take, it's just the not everyone handles it that way. Don't judge people harshly if they attempt to offer positive perspectives. They may just be clueless on how to help, rather than simply being selfish.