No, I’m defeated. My life has been one massive case of try and fail, push and pull, expectations and disappointment. I’ve never meant anything to anyone, and I’m beginning to no longer mean anything to me. I can’t do anything right. Nothing. Nada.

It’s probably self-preservation speaking at this point. I have no will of my own to continue

I feel it already has. Just contemplating what to do about it

Thank you for your kind words but I don’t think that’s the case here. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes with nowhere to go and no will to go further

My finances are struggling, my emotions are high, I’m fighting back my demons right now and I feel like I’m finally losing after 8 years, something I promised my family and friends would never happen

I don’t think I can afford to right now.

That’s funny, I’m not sure. I don’t think anything drastic, all I know is right now I feel like crying uncontrollably, a deep immense pain and void that cannot be filled

I’m done. I’m doing all the cleaning I can right now to take my mind off of it. The longer I sit here the closer I get to just breaking down.

I want to clarify that when I say never again, I truly mean never again.

It’s ok. The peace I find will be in never dating again. It’s incredibly clear to me now that I can’t do it and it’s not meant for me. I already had a fiancée leave me. Now this? I’m not dumb nor do I want to go through this again. I’m more comforted in my isolation than my painful company.