Good point that him complaining that I do everything just shows that he is in fact aware of our current division, and I'm now realizing that I'm not ok with him knowing this and still acting like a victim.

It's a good idea to ask him to write down the chores and create a chart for us to work together. It will shed some light into what he thinks is important and what he thinks I'm doing. Thanks for the advice!

Thanks for the practical advice, I think the main problems is that we don't know what each other prefers and have no visibility on what each other is doing, and talking about it seems challenging but rewarding