ThrowRApleasehelpo

ThrowRApleasehelpo OP t1_je44g6u wrote

I am a very avoidant and people pleaser-based person and find it hard to be confrontational. I originally had hopes to motivate him to succeed, however I instead am helping him be complacent as I am his only source of socialization. I do not want to discourage him or make him doubt his capabilities, and do not want to hurt him. Do you have and advice on how to speak to him or what to say? Thanks in advance

1

ThrowRApleasehelpo OP t1_je40fps wrote

Thank you for your help. I have tried to talk to him about it but seem to struggle with being direct due to not wanting to hurt his feelings. All I want for him is to have a fulfilling life and it saddens me to see how he doesn’t understand that his parents are having to financially support him and how he has options but doesn’t really see that he does. I spoke to him about my concern for med school and he believes he is capable of having a full time job while cooking, cleaning, etc while I study 12+ hours a day, however his actions now say otherwise. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me gain clarity on this. I do agree with you and you’re incredibly helpful

1

ThrowRApleasehelpo OP t1_je3zpvg wrote

I just worry that it isn’t my place. I know in med school I will have to rely on my partner to handle the majority of responsibilities because I will be too busy with school, and I feel like I cannot trust him to do that. His mom gave him a time frame of when to find a job or she’d kick him out, and he did not meet it. I feel like he does not comprehend having a full time job and adult responsibilities. Is there anyway you’d prefer to be told about your partners expectations? I do not want to hurt him.

1