Yikes! It’s tough because your right. I have tried to take some power back in this dynamic. I’ve told her that I also don’t know if it’s going to work out with her. That unless she works on certain behaviors I don’t want to get back with that person. But overall I still have been there for her and it could be seen as kissing her butt. When ever I put distance between us in any way she responds by chasing me,and I let her back in.

I agree it’s unhealthy to be hot and cold. It’s toxic to maintain this type of contact without clear intention to what she wants in future. I also have said that I have feelings and boundaries same as her. It’s not solely up to her but the ball is def in her court as she knows I want to work it out. It just feels like she wants to work it out,spend time together ,start to open up but then pull back and enforce the idea that she is unsure and focused on herself

I agree but my question would be is she stringing me along with intention to work it out in future or stringing me along to eventually call it quits? Even with her mixed signals I have decided that she is not done.