Being willing to adjust our behavior or atleast acknowledge how our words or actions have an impact on those around us shows how self-aware and caring we can be. In a romantic relationship, the willingness to see how we are impacted and impact our partners along with the desire to build connection rather than preserve ourselves is the foundation of strong and deep relationship.

And yet we are social beings as humans. We need others to be there for us. To be there when we fall, to support us, to fight for us, etc. I know that isn't available for everyone, and yet it is needed for attachment security.