TikkiTakiTomtom t1_jak4cyi wrote

Oh that’s just Joe. He accidentally looked down a loaded shotgun left out by his reckless dad when he was little. He’s a sweetie once you get to know him. Makes a killer burger too.


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_jaa5y4l wrote

“God don’t grip me so tight when you’re fighting an old bearded guy.”

“Bro your swings are so terrible I want to cut myself”

“Pbbt. Lame.”

“Bro. I’m hungry.”

“Put me back in [the sheathe] it’s cold out here!”

“I’d like a slice of that cake”

“Let’s gooooooo”

(To the enemy) “Damn bro, you swing like a girl”

(To the female enemy) “Damn bro, you swing like — oh wait…You swing like a hairy dude!”

“Hey, you. You’re finally awake. Hahaha oh man I always wanted to do that… Ha… It’s a gaming joke. You don’t get it? Never mind… ^Lame.”

“Wait I thought that’s how I was supposed to do it? Oops”

“Like cuttin butter”

“Raw doggin this hobgoblin”

“Hey look mom! No hands!

“Don’t touch me. I’m harder than Damascus steel right now. It’ll be weird.”

“Bro. I’m hungry again...”

“Can you clean me, dude? I haven’t showered in days”

“Puts a whole new meaning to waxing the sword”


“That’s the most perfect cut in the history of perfect cuts”

“Aw yeah I’m the best. Who da best? I am!”

“No, it’s not my first time slicing someone! I’m not lying! I swear!”

(To you) “You’re not cut out for this but I am”

“$!@& ?%#$”

“Swoosh! Swish! Shhhhng! You like my added sound effects?”


“…It’s too early in the morning to be doing this…”

“360 no-scope! Omg you just failed that. Dude”

“Can he clutch the win with the last swing… And Ye—never mind… That was embarrassing”

“Can’t… breathe… monster grip…”

“For the gazillionth time you can’t cut a ghost!”

“I’m not meant to be used as a hammer ya know”

“Can we not do this today? I’m tired.”

“Ew ew ew ew! This is so grossss. This is so grossss.”

“Aaaand the dynamic duo gets the dub!”

“I’m trying my best okay?!” fake sobs

“I’m trying my best okay?!” real silent sobs

“Random boner! Just gotta let you know.”

(You to enemy) “I have a better sword than you!” (Sword) blushes

(You to enemy) “I have a bigger sword than you!” (Sword) “GAAAAAAY!”

(To enemy) “Mom, dad, I have something to tell you” sssshng!

“Look at all these nicks bro. Makes me look tough!”

“I wish I was bigger….”

“What? Did I say something wrong”

“What? Did you say something? I was thinking about food. A slice of ham or cheese or bread perhaps”

“Hot chick alert! Hot chick alert!”

(To killed enemy) “Eat it bitch”

“It’s big brain time! But I don’t have a brain! Yohohoho!”

(To enemy) “Cringe”

(To enemy) “You were as easy to hit as yo mama”

(To you) “You suck bro lol”

(To you and enemy) “Watch this…” fails “That’s not supposed to happen. No YOU suck!”

(To you) “Are you in love with me or something stop gripping me so hard”

(When you two first meet) “It always feels like I’m getting the short end of the stick… up my ass… If I had one…”


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_j9i54u5 wrote

Reply to Them by hebahshafi

OP: Them

Them: stares Can you believe the nerve of this guy? We have names you know! ^asshole


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_j8fnav5 wrote

As a guy who loves this stuff, I just have to wonder where people just come up with this stuff? Like how do you just one day decide to investigate, wildflowers and test if they have potential uses for Covid treatments?


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_j8e7wr4 wrote

Reply to jflaxman by b00giemane

Plot Twist

Monster Train takes the little boy to Monster School where all the kids learn that it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside to be a true monster. And they all become the best of buddies.


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_j704ric wrote

Was scrolling thru main feed and didnt expect that. I hate jump scares but good job.


“Mom says it’s my turn to play on the xbox”

— this kid probably