TrayalPS t1_iujxa9x wrote on October 31, 2022 at 10:02 PM

Reply to My bf is threatening self-harm because of a conversation we had by chucklago555

Your BF is an emotional vampire. See the heading for "The Victim" in that link.

Emotional vampires target people with real kindness and empathy, and then prey on those qualities to compensate for their own inadequacies and lack of self esteem. He is absolutely manipulating you, and will suck you dry if you stick around him. Cut him loose.

TrayalPS t1_iujvmv7 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:50 PM

Reply to In YOUR experience, what does it mean when a man says “I’m no good for you. I know I will end up hurting you and I don’t want to do that… It scares me though to let you go, as you check all the boxes for me.” by maryjanewatsoniii

In my experience (note: i am a man, and I see this question as gender-neutral), these kind of wishy-washy statements that 1. Express self doubts, while 2. Not taking steps to correcting the cause of those doubts, and 3. Avoiding commitment while also 4. Refusing to break things off, are really just trying drop enough hints to get their partner to break up with them so they don't have to be the Bad Guy™ by doing the breaking up themselves. Other classic variations are, "I don't know what I want," and "I love you but I'm not in love with you."