Trouble_in_Mind

Trouble_in_Mind t1_jdyy8un wrote

They're not asking for advice, this sub is literally about people making mistakes or fucking up. They never said it was an urgent situation, and they certainly don't want whatever weird advice you would give while you're...high and/or drunk(?), based on the lack of a single coherent thought in your comment.

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_jaekj4d wrote

WHOA WHOA WHOA - Absolutely NOT, OP. Marrying a man you've dated for only 3 months? And he wants it to happen 2 months from now?!

That's not normal at ALL.

You've only had 2 "real" dates, you don't even know him yet. Not really. OP, break up with him. What he's suggesting is not healthy, you two do not know each other well enough to actually think you'll be happy for life with him, and as someone else in her 20s...you are honestly too young to get roped into a marriage where you are considered worthless.

A $15 buffet is all you're worth (to him). Honestly, probably less because I bet he'd say you shouldn't throw a wedding at all if he thought he could get you to agree to marry him with just a few witnesses and the paperwork.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_ja0481g wrote

Haute cuisine is nice if you're into it, and either a massive joke or torture if you aren't into it. I wouldn't expect haute cuisine at a wedding, and I would likely have to go out and eat afterwards because I'd be massively unsatisfied. I'd try not to leave the party early, but that would honestly depend on how recently I ate beforehand.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding, but as long as changing the caterers doesn't set you back more financially...I'm not gonna lie, you'll VERY likely have happier guests with a more robust cuisine.

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_j9dkkdw wrote

Let me put it this way - I have a tendency to over-apologize or try to push solutions for a problem when I perceive there is one.

This horribly frustrates some of my friends. Often, my insistence is only making the situation worse and more stressful.

Stop messaging him about it for now. If he's really having a bad trip, stressing further over the Pokemon thing isn't going to help. You can talk about it when he gets back, and that'll be okay.

You've already offered to give him Pokemon, which is nice, but I know some people aren't down for that. I appreciate you gave the suggestion that you could also reset and the two of you can start over fresh together.

And if he doesn't go for any of those, that needs to be okay. It won't be easy and you'll likely still want to "fix" it...but that isn't always the answer. You two can play more games together. ❤️

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_ixv7d0p wrote

Yeah, COS intervention might actually be better for your sibling so they don't go through any of the same abuse you do. This isn't a TIFU. You did the right thing by talking with your therapist, and they did the right thing by trying to protect you and your sibling. Your mom and her bf are literally abusive, based on your description, and your therapist thinks so too.

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